MOVED TO WP

I am in the process of moving the blog over to the website of yesyoucanmotivation.com So please see the blog over there. I will not be updating this site. Thank you for all who have read my blog I owe all of you a big thank you.

-Tommy

Paying it forward

Today I was driving to an appointment and my mind started wonder. I started thinking about something I learned a couple of weeks ago at a Linked In class I went to. It was being taught by a good friend of mine Kevin Knebl. As Kevin was doing his introduction he was talking about paying it forward and I started thinking today on my drive to a meeting that I have been very bad at paying it forward. In 1988 on my way to school when I went to Columbia College in Chicago I ended up having a flat tire, oh I need to mention what I was wearing a shirt and tie. When I went to school I guess you could call me a freak because that is what I would always have on, a shirt and tie at school. If you ever saw the TV show or the movie fame it was very similar to that type of school. I didn’t have the right equipment to change a tire, lucky for me there were the people that patrolled the highways to help stranded motorists and that was me. While the gentlemen that helped me change my tire was a very nice guy, I asked what can I do to get you some credit? He gave me a card and I did nothing about that. Ironically the first month I moved to Denver back in 1997 I end up having car problems. Very similar situation I was greeted by a gentleman in a tow truck who actually did have to tow my car, he handed me a card about getting credit or whatever recognition and I did nothing about that again.
I started thinking about what Kevin was saying that week in class about paying it forward and that’s something that I’ve really made a conscious effort about starting this week. One of the websites I been using a lot lately is Linked In. This website if you’re not familiar with it is very much a business website to help you promote yourself or to look for jobs, and OH YES to get recommendations. That is what I want to talk to you about recommendations; Kevin has over 700 recommendations on his Linked In profile. As of tonight I am up to 11 recommendations. Now here’s how we pay it forward, I have never been a fan of the recommendations because to me it was like an ego trip. However I have learned through Kevin’s class that it is vital to have recommendations. I received a phone call about speaking at this event while one of things that the gentleman Dan wanted is my bio well as I started thinking about what I need to include in my bio were recommendations. I have now become a big fan of Linked In and recommendations. Here is my point to tie it all together. On Linked In once somebody recommends you, the system automatically creates the paying it forward by asking you to recommend that person right then and there. I asked a lot of my former colleague’s to make a recommendation for me, once they make a recommendation from me I then get to pay it forward automatically. Now I get to see firsthand what my colleagues are saying about me then I turn around and say kind words about them as well. Part of my bio is going to be recommendations to let the event planner understand that I am not just some Joe off the street therefore the recommendations are going to help build my credibility. Now even though I’ve been a corporate trainer for 13 years public speaking in my opinion is public speaking. However this is a new venture for me I don’t want to just show up being that Joe coming off the street again I will be bringing credibility to this event by first having a bio with recommendations.
Before moving on to a talk about paying it forward, I need to mention that this blog was totally created with new software I purchased called Dragon speak where right now I am speaking into a headset and the computer is typing it, I love new software.
As I keep talking (because I am talking really) about paying it forward and one other thing that has really, really been apart of my life please probably passed few years but it’s only been probably the past year and a half were of really embraced the law of attraction. If you’re not familiar with the law of attraction, basically means like attracts like so for example if your positive person I know whole lot and start laughing though he will you motivational people are always so positive things like that. Let me just explain, like attracts like meeting your positive person who can attract positive people. Here is why I firmly only believe in the law of attraction. Recently I’ve met people that I do not think I would’ve ever met and less I believe in the law of attraction. I have a very good friend of mine Denise, who was at a health fair promoting her new business. As things are starting to wind down I was sitting there speaking to her dad who has business of his own and I’d mention the word divorce and that’s when the law of attraction came into fruition. The gentleman who was at the table next to Denise and her dad was named Zach, and he has created an organization that is trying to help promote dads in a positive light. Zach’s organization is called “Be Men” at WWW.bemen.com. Now if I hadn’t shown up to this event supported my good friend Denise in turn I would not have met Zach. If I had not of met Zach then I would not have met Dan who was the one who called me today to be speaking at this fatherhood event on October 4th.
You might be asking yourself right now, Tommy how can you take the law of attraction and paying it forward and put it into one blog should this be two separate pieces of context? The answer is no. Here is why I am saying no and here is why that they tie into each other. Remember I said that the law of attraction in simple terms is like attracts like you’re a bad person chances are you’re going to attract bad people bad event. For me trying to stay positive in order to attract positive events positive people in my life will create the paying for word mentality. And here’s how I can put this is the best example of putting these two pieces together. When I first started my twitter account I was able to find like minded people. One of the first like minded people was Kevin Knebl. One day Kevin Tweeted out that he was going to be in Denver to do a speaking engagement at lunch time. Knowing that Kevin is a very positive person and what he was speaking about that day was actually about twitter which I was just first started to learn I thought this would be a great golden opportunity to not only meet Kevin but to learn more skills of Twitter. Well not only did I meet Kevin another gentleman who was there speaking as well named Chris Kauza who is a marketing person. So bear with me here we have law of attraction like attracts like. I meet Kevin and I met Chris at this event, Chris gave an example of how he helped a speaker go from getting no money to be speaking to making money and for me that is one light bulb went off. Once I heard Chris say he can help a new speaker achieves success I knew that eventually I would need to work with Chris.
After that day I went back home and I was already following Kevin on Twitter, I then started to follow Chris on Twitter with his company Fett marketing and again like attracts like. I don’t remember when I had my “AH HA” moment that I wanted or needed to work with Chris on creating my own speaking business but it doesn’t matter because I am doing it now working with Chris to help me become more successful at my business. So here’s what we have so far I’ve met Kevin I met Chris I’ve met Zach all people that are wanting to help others, and it’s like Zig Ziegler says you can get anything in your life you want as long as you’re willing to help others get what they want. Now here’s how I put the paying it forward into perspective. Kevin does these seminars about Twitter and Linked In and on Linked In I am also part of several groups. One of the groups was asking about how to do certain things on Linked In and well my way of paying it forward was to put Kevin’s website on my response back to say this gentleman is a Linked In trainer and can pretty much help you with your answer within his class. Now I wasn’t trying to sell anything, I know that Kevin runs a business and felt that this might be a good opportunity for others who even though they’re on the Linked In and they may not be aware of all the things that Linked In can do therefore it’s a win-win situation for all parties. Not only can these individuals learn more about Linked In by listening to Kevin either through a classroom setting or through his webinars.
What have we learned here? Well what I hope you have learned is that paying it forward can be in my opinion tied to the law of attraction. Recently on iTunes I bought the book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki and one of the things that the book talks about is that if you’re thinking that you need money for costly bills but let’s and you know you’re going to be a little bit short, one of the things in the book that Robert Kiyosaki talks about is paying it forward but in a kind of a different way. He says if you’re going to be a little short of money then donate money to a charity and it will come back to you in buckets. I started to think about that and in my mind it does make sense. I know you might not believe me nor believe my positive outlook but as the computer is typing this and I have a headset on as I’m talking into the computer I’m staring at my vision board. A vision board is something that you have a poster and you put up your goals and pictures of things that you want to strive for. One picture that I cut out of a magazine showing Joel Osteen from behind and you see his audience and how massive his audience is and the reason why I have this picture is because I want the opportunity to speak to a group of thousands of people in one place. One other thing that I look at on my vision board is one of the quotes I have that is from Vince Lombardi. He says the difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.

Two years later.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my anniversary of the day I was asked for a divorce. That day is something that plays in my head almost daily or at least the day’s I am asked to speak to an organization about my topic of divorce. I was asked if I have issues (I said yes but they were not finished with the question) because this memory is brought up so much now in my life? I said no because it has taken a journey that was very much up hill but not up hill in a good way. If you have ever done a 14er, you walk up for several hours, but the going down can be as tough as well. However starting and creating my speaking business would NEVER have been a reality if I was still married today. I am thankful that two people created such a healthy boy and Connor knows that he is loved.

Well my journey was at one time the lowest of my low when this whole divorce mess occurred. First off I am sad that the divorce caused me to loose some friends who I thought would have been life long friends. I know now that when divorce happens it does affect not only the family but the community as well and this is actually called “Community Divorce.” For me there were special times up until September 7 2008, we had a great group that lived in the “Sac” as we liked to call it because we lived in a cul de sac. The parties really brought the neighbors closer together but maybe the friendships that were created were also ended because of the lines that were drawn. I am saddened again those friendships were destroyed by our divorce and that there are still negative feelings that still linger because of the divorce. However good or bad I have memories from the days being part of the “Sac.”

I know that no matter how I write this blog posting it is not going to be what I truly want to say because my message might not get reached to the masses. I still think and feel and you will hopefully agree as well that there is a victim in all of this and we know who that is. 1 Million children on average are affected by divorce so Connor in my view like many kids that go through this have to grow up a little sooner. The day that my life changed from having mom, dad, and me all under one roof is always going to be in my memory bank.

There actually has been good because of this and I would like to share some with you. I knew of others who had gone through divorce but never asked them questions. I was asked one last week at one of the Toastmaster meeting I attend on Thursday’s. I was asked by a new friend named Chasen if I am happy? I did not even hesitate saying “yes” I was happy because guess what I sure as heck was not two years ago today. Well here are some reasons why I am happier today then I was in my past:
 Connor and I are less then five minutes from his house to my place.
 I have started my speaking business and possible two more other business as well.
 Meeting Angie and how much she adores Connor.
 I have learned the Law of Attraction.
 I am a much happier person.
 Learning every time I am with Connor on who he is and what his likes/dislikes are.
 I am grateful everyday to be here.

My healing was all about time and part of the process was to stop thinking at first I was the victim and what did I do wrong to go from husband to single to what felt like a blink of an eye. Learning from my friend Chris K that it is cheaper to write out your feelings then seeing a therapist was one of my first steps. Another was how can I serve others with my story and because I do believe in the Law of Attraction I get to tell my story on a bigger stage. On October 4 I will be speaking at the 2010 Fatherhood Training Academy in Colorado Springs and if you would like more information here is the website http://www.coloradodads.com/. The excitement of knowing that I will be able to tell my story to a group such as this one at times is a little over whelming. I look forward to meeting new people but what I hope is the ability to touch people’s lives from my talk on October 4.

Finally I need to just say thank you for reading my blogs and telling me how much you have enjoyed reading them. I must also say thank you for the support I have received while I was getting my life back together. Please let me know how this blog has helped you through your own struggles and what can we do to help you too. Please remember that I thought when I said my marriage vows that it was going to be forever and well life happens. All I do know is the most import point I want to make and that is just the fact that Connor is loved by both of his parents.

Little Red Wagon

I am developing a new talk called “Little Red Wagon” and it is about us walking and pulling a wagon with our emotional stuff in it. The point is that once we get home or to the office we leave the wagon with our “stuff” outside so it does not interfere with the rest of our time. Some of my stuff that I pull with me is every time I drive past my former house or getting an email from my ex wife. This is what I am pulling in my little red wagon. Three weeks ago I had to bring it with me and leave it outside at Connor’s school for “Family Night” now there is an oxymoron.

Connor’s school sent out an email about Family night. When I read the email it stated that if your last name was A-N you would go to family night on Monday, M-Z you would go on Tuesday. I had a commitment for Tuesday night and I emailed Connor’s teacher to ask if it is ok to show up on Monday instead? She responded back to say yes and it was not a problem and I thought wonderful because my wagon would be a little lighter or so I thought.

We can look at this one of two ways; either I still have issues or, oh never mind I still have issues. I will still admit and if you are the same PLEASE either email me thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com or place a comment, but I do not want to be in the same room with my ex wife. Heck it is bad enough being on the same planet (to mean?). Well from what my mom has told me that it took about ten years for my mom and dad to have a civil conversation. I am not saying that my ex and I do not have civil conversations, we do but I would rather not have any type of communication with her. Back to my point and yes I have issues but I am sure she as well wants to see me as much as I want to see her? I think it is the same for her as well.

I found out through emails on that day that the ex would be at FAMILY NIGHT the same night as well. Sometimes you win, sometimes you loose, and sometimes it gets rained out. On my way to the school I started to think of my emotional boxes in my wagon. I was thinking that I really do not have that many or do I? What is funny is that when I went to see Daryl my therapist she said I seemed very confident in myself (and I do) then two years ago when I first started to see her. I think about so called friendships that were destroyed that are in my wagon. Does your wagon seem heavy to pull? I have to tell you those two years this December my wagon is a lot lighter then it was in 2008.

What steps have you taken to lighten up your wagon? I have learned the power of letting things go that I could not control and that was actually a huge weight to get out of my wagon. I wanted to in my past control when I would speak to Connor on the phone. We would have short conversations and I wanted to hear him speak longer. I had to learn that a little boy has things like playing with his friends or goofing by playing WII is more important then talking to his dad. I understand that to Connor telling me about his day is not exciting to him and there are times when I ask to tell me more but if he starts to get pushed then he says less. Again things I could not control I learned had to be taken out of my wagon.

The goal of this is to not only have you think about the stuff we can control, but also help with our stress management. Think about stress and we can put it into two categories good/bad types of stress. Good stress is getting a new job or that first date with somebody new. Bad stress can be when we sit in traffic or your job. Well these are things that go into our wagon but also this needs to come out of your wagon because as we all know to much of bad stress is unhealthy for you. Now the trick is to create more positive stress in your life, and yes that may sound like another oxymoron but here me out. I have tons of CD’s in my car that deal with not just motivation but positive messages. I subscribe to Success Magazine and in each issue it comes with a CD of interviews with the editor of the magazine Darren Hardy. I do not mind driving all around Denver for meetings and giving speeches because I listen to the information and how I can better my business by listening to these wonderful CD’s. Ok so sitting in traffic is bad stress but if you turn the situation around and create good habits like putting books on tape/CD in your car then guess what your attitude will change as well. Once you get to where you are going after sitting on I94 in Chicago, you will be happy due to creating a better frame of mind once you arrive to your destination. Heck you might even start to LOVE rush our traffic.

Please let me know how I can serve you with my message. I am speaking to some really good groups around Colorado and would very much enjoy speaking to your group as well. Please contact me at thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com. Have a great day and life=risk.

RIP DAILY BREW HAHA

Today is a sad day for me, no not about the Cub’s manager Lou Piniella stepping down at the end of this season. I started writing my blog and now two of them because I did not think I had anything to say nor would be good at it. I was wrong (yes this is a first) on both accounts. I was told that writing a blog is not only great therapy but it is free words from my great friend Chris K who gave me the confidence to write my heart out. Today I received the final word that Chris has shut down his blog and I am both mad and sad that he has done it but I am selfish that way. I am sad because I love Chris’s writing style and he does it so eloquently, I write very simple but Chris (without knowing it) pushes me to write better and I do try. I know this only because my dad told me that since I have started my first blog I have improved. He is my dad he would not lie to me, heck he told me last week that Santa is still watching me. I am mad at Chris because to me it was a selfish move and YES it is his decision that I do 100 percent respect fully of this shutting down of HIS blog. I too am being selfish as well because now I feel that there is a void in my reading life but there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel and Chris has told me that he wants to get back to his roots of writing a book (or more). That makes me VERY happy (can you say bromance?) for Chris and the rest of us because I know I will hold him to this.

Listen I know that we all have goals in life and for me it is speaking on being a divorced dad and I want this business to grow more then anything else. I also understand that when talented people stop doing what they are great at, then you feel let down. However this is different because to me the blog that Chris wrote was just baby steps to his next step and I know he will continue to do great things. I know for a fact that he is a great dad, a great writer, and truly a great friend. I have all of the confidence in the world that in the very near future we will see Chris on a bigger stage promoting a book that was all started by a little blog called “Daily Brew HaHa.” I am going to miss it and I know others will as well but I will get over it and heck maybe I need to just create another blog to fill Chris’s blog void.

Anyway I this will mean that I need to step up my game to write as good or try to even write better. However I will trade a blog to a book written by a friend any day and even more so if it is an autographed copy oh and maybe even a little dedication someplace in the book or heck I could write the Forward to the book. HEY I can have a goal as well now can’t I? Well I did tell Chris my little challenge is to see who has their book out first?

To stupid to have a tutor

A few weeks ago while my son Connor and I were skating at one of the local rinks I saw something that I wish my DNA had inside of me. It was a moment to the untrained eye that it was nothing but to me it was very important in a young person’s life. I was seeing a rare moment that only a small group has inside of them to accomplish this amazing feat in my opinion. Even as an adult, currently I only truly wish that I can get what I am about to tell you and be able to pass it onto Connor as well.

When Connor is skating I am always making sure that he is safe so he does not accidently cut someone off or to make sure someone does not skate into him. I was skating near him when he said he wanted to go and sit down for a little bit, well his little bit is less then 30 seconds and he wants to do it by himself (I do watch him but keep a distance so he does not see that I am spying on him). As he was stepping off the ice I see these maybe junior high or even maybe even freshman school age couple. The boy was short and the girl was taller then him, but it was not awkward for them. They were skating together holding hands, smiling, and truly enjoying each other’s company. That is when I was hit like a Zdeno Chara slap shot (look up his fastest shots at the NHL All Star game and you will then understand). This boy had something and I not only wanted it I want to be able to show others how to get it but how and what is it? This kid had (please be sitting down for this profound statement) “CONFIDENCE” like nobody I had seen at such a young age. I mean think about it, you are a short boy going through life and in school then you see a pretty girl and you do not even think about the height issues at all and you just ask her out and guess what? She said yes! I will guess the kid did not even blink when he asked her out the first time, and nor did he blink when she said yes because he had confidence.

When I was a freshman at Carmel High School, I was struggling with math so my teacher DR. Watson (yes really) had a tutor work with me in the morning before homeroom. I was not getting what ever we were discussing that morning and these words came out of his mouth that I can not forget (even with all of the hockey pucks that have hit me in the head it just won’t come out) “You are to stupid to have a tutor.” WOW that brings back some great memories. I was both to ashamed and scared to say anything to DR. Watson of what this kid had said to me. The sad thing was that DR. Watson was my favorite teacher and I had felt that I let him down and that was the hardest part. I did not mind even the day when I was up in front of the class struggling to do a math problem when DR. Watson broke a yard stick when he hit me with it on the shoulder. Hey it was a Catholic school so it was part of life, but it did not hurt and actually I do not think he meant to hit me that hard anyway, oh heck it might have had a crack in it already from the times he would hit his desk with it. I am sure it was going to break sooner or later. He was a teacher who did care about his students and he was somebody who understood that a small win was a great win. I got a “C” on one of his test and he later pulled me aside to say that I could do better and this was just a start.

I would like to say I was kind of successful in my ten years in radio. I enjoyed it and my confidence was easy to find in myself because I had a microphone in front of me but in a strange way did not have to look at people when I talked to them on the air. It is strange now because I am SO passionate about wanting to be a speaker that I thrive on crowds to do my talks to. I do miss at times those days of being on the air and getting instant feed back if I said something that was funny or not, and then people would call in or NOT.

I think about that boy skating on the ice with his girlfriend and I hope he understands that what he has at such a young age is such a gift. I have a list of local clubs that I need to call so I can arrange a speaking engagement but cold calling is not in my DNA unlike that confidence thing that the kid has. I do not have any issue speaking in front of groups because yes I have some confidence but to have it in every aspect of my life would be so wonderful to have. I would be able to seriously have better control in my life and could become the leader I have always wanted to be. I posted my last blog about the hike up MT. Yale and needing to take baby steps, well unbeknownst to that kid skating with his girlfriend he has put a new fire in me to work harder on the confidence struggles I have had for many years and baby steps to get there. The next time you and I think that we do not have the confidence to do or try something; we all need to think of my new hero and just go up to that person (this is a metaphor) and look them right in the face with your head held high and say your name and then tell them that the two of you need to go out and if they even say no act like it is their loss and move on. I hope that with each new phone call you make or presentation you do that your own confidence gets stronger by the day. I hope to see you at the ice rink and if you do not know how to skate, well fake it while you make it. Oh and if you need a speaker for your organization please do not hesitate and contact me at thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com

Tommy 1 MT Yale 0

I was trying to explain in words what a 14er is. Here in Colorado we obviously have mountains and we have trails that lead to these mountains for you to climb over 14,000 feet above sea level. Basically you are hiking up a mountain but it is not like climbing something like Kilimanjaro, no this is for the most part a day’s hike. If you want to look into this here is a web site to look more into 14ers http://www.14ers.com/. Aright where am I going here? I wanted to write last week about confidence and how some people have it even at a young age and then well then yesterday happened, so next time I will tell you about ice skating with Connor and seeing kids with confidence.

My good friend Patrick who runs our local recreation center and my Insanity/P90X workout partner asked if I had my son Connor the weekend of June 25Th. I got my dates mixed up and said I did have him and said why? He was planning a guy’s trip to his parent’s cabin outside of South Park Colorado. Yes let me stop you there and there really is a town called South Park, it is not a made up town. I totally had forgotten that Patrick asked me about having Connor the weekend of the 25Th as it was about two weeks before their trip and was he talking about doing a 14er. I was like when? He said the weekend I had Connor. I then said oh I had my dates mixed up and could I still go on the trip? Patrick said oh yes and we were going to be climbing MT Yale (14,196 feet above sea level). I am not a skier, a camper, or a typical outdoors type person. Heck I kid people by saying that if the hotel does not have room service, to me that is “roughing” it. However to understand the beauty of a place like Colorado I do enjoy hiking and it really can teach you about yourself at times and this was a soul searching hike for me.

On Friday this past weekend Patrick another friend Brian and me headed up to the cabin. Patrick’s brother Kevin and his friend Joel would meet us later on that day. I made sure that during the week I was on the treadmill with some incline when I was on it to get used to the climb. I can not tell you that I thought I was in a little better shape but more on that later. I have done two other 14er’s and both times I made it to the top or the “Summit” with an inner voice screaming to finish the trek, I would even say that the inner voice (the same one on Saturday) sounded a lot like Jillian Michaels.

Saturday morning we got up around 5 AM to grab showers, eat a good breakfast, and get on the road early so we can try and be able to see any of the Men’s USA World Cup game. We had about an hour drive from the cabin to the beginning of the trail. What a beautiful morning we had in store for us, Blue skies and warm temps. As we approached MT. Yale there were some clouds and actually having cloud cover on a hike is a good thing because you will be just struggling with a blazing sun on you. It was estimated that we should be back to the car maybe by 1:30 PM making it a 6 hour hike. Maybe four hours to get up and then two to get down because usually you will make up time coming down (um usually). I do not know how to describe the feeling as we started hiking on the path other then I could feel the lack of oxygen due to the elevation. I guess it was more nerves oh yes that oxygen thing also. The first thing I could see was that both Brian and I are not as tall as Patrick, Kevin, and Joel so there steps were equal to two of ours. Meaning that we almost had to double time it to keep up with them through out the hike and again feeling how hard my heart was pumping the Jillian Michaels voice was close to being silenced or let’s say slapped. I really started to think I made a mistake but there was to be no turning back, and this was only the first hour into this so I really had to dig deep.

I have to tell you how gorgeous the scenery was as we were hiking through the forest and the whole aspect of you against nature is also a great motivator both physically and mentally. Once we got out of the tree line is when I had doubts about making it to the summit, now I did not hit the so called “wall” this was more the confidence issue playing with my head. My take of hitting the wall is that mentally you can not see yourself getting around it or even through it. I knew my mind had no issue accomplishing the goal it was a little more of having a physical doubt. As I was hiking I tried to think of ways to paint some type of picture for you to fully understand what I was going through. The best (or maybe lamest) was taking a treadmill and setting the incline to the highest possible but maybe just keeping the tread at 1.0. My calves were hurting as we ascended to the summit and the worst thing I could do was to keep looking up to see where I was headed and the Jillian Michaels voice was not pushing me in a positive way, all I could hear in my head was MOVE IT FAT ASS! By this time and it was 3 hours into it, I was with Brian and the other three were near getting to the summit. I could not see them from our angle and I was SO mad at myself for not able to keep up with those guys (still mad as I write this). The calves, thighs, quads, and a small headache all equaled self doubt and emotional pain of being so far behind and all I kept thinking was that these guys would never invite me to a hike. I had to look at trying to set some small goals to get moving. Brian said that we will push ourselves to do 10 yards (remember I said to take a treadmill and jack up the incline) at a time and take a 10-15 second break. That is what we did on these switch backs, 10 yards then a quick break, we had to push each other and we did that. Once we got to the top of the incline portion (not to the summit just yet) of the hike there was two more areas we had to still climb (oh and had no idea about these two pieces of adventure). The first was actually climbing on rocks and it was so COOL hopping from one rock to another oh and the view was spectacular. Once that feet was accomplished oh and yes I had a conversation with myself that I wanted to just rest right there in the midst of the rocks and say screw the summit. Then Jillian told me some choice words in my head so I had to keep moving on. One more somewhat steep climb and I was there!! Well I have to tell you that once you get to that summit and just look out into the distance it is just over whelming oh when the guys cheered that was also pretty darn cool. I sat there to take in the view and the feeling of accomplishment and I did not want to leave. However since there is no bus or let alone a helicopter to take you down, it was a short break and then back to work.

Descending down I hinted earlier you will usually pick up some time but since this was a very steep climb in both directions this was not going to be the case. At one point as we were going up one pre teen kid lost his footing and was going down head first, lucky for him his buddy was able to grab him at one point, did I mention steep? So I just did my best to try and move down at a good pace.

Well it ended up it did not take us 6 hours to be back at the car but 8 hours. Once we all got into the car there was still a major feeling of accomplishment from all of but I was still mad at myself that I was so slow. I really hope you get something out of my adventure and it is this: If you have ever seen the movie City Slickers you will understand, you will also if you have not seen the movie with just the point of all of this (well I hop at least). Billy Crystal and Jack Palance characters get into a sort of, a what is the meaning of life conversation. Jack Palance lifts up his hand to show Billy Crystal his index finger. A little confusion of Crystal but here is the quote from the movie:
Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean shit.
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.

So that is my point as what Curly says. I am not a religious person but as I was climbing and just trying to push myself to get up that FRICKING mountain, I had to stop several times to just look at the view and nature all around me and it just gave me some kind of feeling inside of me that I wish I could put into words. I guess my hope for you is to think about one of my favorite Zig Ziglar quotes:

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want”

Thank you Joe

This week I went to a seminar, hold on before I hear the comments of something like BORING, you are very much wrong. This was actually the second time I have been to this and if you have ever met me you understand that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. Let me tell you about our host MR. Joe Sabah (say-bah) but you need to just call him “Joe.” I can not tell you how much my brain soaked up the knowledge Joe has about how to be a speaker. If you have heard of John Wooden the great UCLA basketball coach who recently passed, this is Joe. He was responsible for the creation of the Colorado Chapter for the National Speakers Association, and is one of the top two chapters in the world, so Joe knows his stuff pretty darn well. The information that he taught us was worth millions of dollars and lucky for me he did not charge that. Here is a question “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” I want so bad to be a speaker and not just a speaker but one of the best. That quote is from a card that my mom sent me, and this brings us why I was listening to Joe. He gave us the tips and information to get a speaking business going. Hold on there Tommy I thought you said this was the second time you have been to this seminar? Well, um, yes, yes it was.

About 10 years ago I went to this seminar but the timing was just not the right moment in my life. You know why the timing was not there for me? Simply I was scared to death that I was going to succeed at this. WHAT??!! I know it sounds crazy but that was my fear at that time in my life and know is today any different? No it is not except that this time this is my true passion or I would to go as far to say that this is my calling. We get so wrapped up with trying to keep life safe and what I mean is not taking risks. Here is a little motivation for you “He who risks and fails can be forgiven. He who never risks and never fails is a failure in his whole being.” - Paul Tillich
The sidelines as been my friend way to long, it is time that we get into the game. I can only tell you how I am going to get into the game but it should be the same for you as well and that is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.

In previous blogs I have written about us as humans, we are just not happy doing what we are doing and why is that? Personally we naturally tend to stay away from taking risks in our so called “safe” life. We don’t want to “rock the boat” so we just cruise on the wrong river or path because that is what we have been programmed to do. WHY?? This week I finally got the opportunity to play the sport that I love to play and that is ice hockey. I was just filling in for the team but I find it vital to learn about the guys I am going to skate with. I wanted to say when I was asked the standard question “what do you do for work?” I wanted to say professional speaker, oh yes I even rehearsed the whole thing in my head. I wanted to tell them my passion of speaking and creating this new venture, but that was not what came out. What came out was oh I am, well looking right now, SO what do you do? Ok I was not there yet, it is like the movie “What about Bob” and the theory for Bob to be comfortable outside his comfort zone were “Baby steps.”

I am so pumped at the information I have in my possession from “Joe’s” seminar to be the speaker who is going be successful and “Crush It” to another level. Now what about you? What can I do to help you achieve your goals so you can have that fire in you to do what you were meant to be doing? Maybe look into presentations in your area or ask people who are doing what you WANT to be doing. How did they get to where they are today? I am going to leave you with a quote from Joe

“You don’t have to be good to start, you just have to start to be good.”

SUCCESS IS THE ULTIMATE REVENGE

Last week I was at Connor’s awards/graduation ceremony, can not believe he is already done with First grade. I was sitting there waiting for the assembly to start and was thinking about my first week in the class I am currently in for school called “Communications of Theories and Practice.” I was actually thinking about quitting school all together and even today on msn.com there was an article of famous people who not only do not have their college degrees but some never even finished high school. I am having a tough time with this teacher for this class as well as the class it self. I know that this would be a bad idea and it was more of a passing thought and I know that this class will teach me more about communication. Still sitting there in the gym I looked up to see all of these college banners that the kids bring in to show the colleges their parents went to. That really motivated me to say a few choice words to myself and just move on, it is only a five week class. It is truly not to late to still accomplish your goals so do not think about ever quitting on yourself and do what ever it takes to achieve your goals.

I have not talked a lot lately about working out or physical fitness but it is so vital for your mental success and I need to relate a story about again not quitting and push through mental walls. I was invited to go on a hike and if you have ever gone on a hike here in Colorado there are several elements to deal with. I first need to talk about what type of preparation I needed to do for this hike because it has been several years since I have done one. You might of heard of a exercise program called P90X or if you have not I will explain. This workout is tough not only do you use weights but it is a bit fast paced workout as well. My good friend Patrick who runs our local recreation center has been my work out partner on P90X, but then a new challenge was created. Well one day Patrick sent me a text to ask if I wanted to do “Insanity?” This is another program that is well INSANE! The exercise workout for Insanity is pure cardiovascular so no use of weights at all. Well first off my friend Patrick has done several Triathlons and is also a pretty good runner oh and he was also one of the guys on the hike. The first day (again just doing cardio) of the Insanity DVD I could not keep up with the first ten minutes and that was just the warm up. Well that was almost two months ago and I am so grateful to Patrick of switching up our workout. The first hike I ever did again MANY years ago, I hit a wall and wanted to quit and I did not and that was back in the days I did not workout as much or at all. This hike was more of ok I have been working out and let me see what type of shape I am for this. We were on the trail by 8:30 AM and back to the truck at 3:55 PM and it was estimated that we ended up doing 13 miles, and it would have been less but we took a wrong turn. That was no big deal because I really did feel so good not just physically but mentally, I never hit a mental wall. What a great experience of battling the elements and yes I do mean the weather. Not only were there parts of the hike with wind but SNOW, yes the white fluffy stuff, oh and it was sunny when it was coming down with the white flakes. I can not tell you what it meant to see the truck and know that YES I can do….. Guess what? You can as well.

Here is my learning opportunity I want to share with you and I think in my personal opinion is vital to your well being: SUCCESS IS THE ULTIMATE REVENGE. I truly mean this because, don’t you feel great when you get a compliment on a task you have worked hard at and someone let’s you know you did a great job? For me I have not felt successful because my weight has not dropped off as quickly I have wanted it to, but the hike turns out was my revenge towards the sweat and pain of getting into better shape day after day. I want you to think about being that much more successful in your everyday life and turn it into the revenge of the doubters who in the past have said negative things about your ability or skills. I am going to have my revenge with this current teacher with simply passing the class and proving to myself that I can achieve school even when we all hit our mental brick walls. With any type of wall we can go through it, go around it, or even over it but it is not going to stop us from being successful. Find your passion, do what you should be doing, and do not listen to the naysayers because: SUCCESS IS THE ULTIMATE REVENGE.

GO CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS AND BRING HOME THE CUP!!!!

www.yesyoucanmotivation.com (coming SOON!!)

I was driving the other day and had a weird happy thought pop into my head. I was thinking about what I can write to post on my blog and something that I did not really realize occurred to me that I hope will help you out. I know to some of you what I am going to say, especially in these rough economic times is going to sound somewhat well crazy but please trust me. Will you trust me? Thank you for those that said yes.

In less then a years time I was fired not once but twice, one professionally and the other on a personal level. Now I am sure you might be reading this and asking yourself or better yet asking me “how do you get fired on a personal level?” Well let me talk about the professional aspect of the firing first. I knew my mind was not happy working at the job I was at back in 2007, but the fact I was doing a job where I was in front of a group day in and day out, training was still my passion. When you have few individuals who do not have any motivation to be at work, well that can drain you daily and it did. I will admit that my attitude was not the best and my boss Amy J could see it plus the job that I was doing was becoming more and more of a baby sitter type of position then anything else. Well the day came when I had a meeting with Amy and she told me straight that I was not happy and it is creating a negative effect on the department, so I was told to clean out my desk.

I just want to add a little side note that after I was fired my then wife suggested starting my own business of dog walking. I did with her help but this was not MY passion, as much as I love dogs this was to me filler until something that I wanted to do come my way. That job took close to four months to happen but tension in the house was reaching a peak. So you might see where I am going next, or not maybe keep reading then.

Now here is how I was fired on a personal level (oh and yes I do have a point in this blog. You do trust me?) and that is simply getting fired from your marriage. Even within the marriage there is business like decisions and there are times just like when you are speaking to your boss that emotions need to be removed. Well in my case the business decision was more of Donald Trump decision and that is “Your Fired!” Even though both of us were in counseling, I was no longer a good “fit” for the company/marriage therefore I needed to clean out my desk.

Ok maybe you might be thinking “WOW Tommy those are sad stories” or not. I know you have trusted me so the point of the blog has come. For me getting fired in both situations was the best thing that could have happened to me. No I am not drinking or smoking anything at all. The “let go” part of the work area created back then of what do I really want to do as a career? I have always had a passion for travel and computers so that is what I looked for as a career. Up until March 19, 2010 I was a “road warrior” for close to being two years. I was able to see parts of the United States that I would of never had the chance to see unless I took what I was passionate about, plus I was able to learn a new skill of working with computer software. As I am typing this a very good friend of mine Mickey K is helping me put together my new website www.yesyoucanmotivation.com that is going to launch my own speaking business. I am well aware that I could not turn my passion of speaking and motivating people if I was in the same job and the same relationship. I am here to tell you that yes at the moments these two occurrences happened my net worth was at zero, if it was even that high. Again I am here to tell you that it is time to find your true self, your drive, and desire to create the life you deserve to be living starting now. My attitude is that right now I would rather be happy working towards creating MY business then working a job that I have zero passion about. I know this will take time, sweat, and maybe even tears to get off the ground but I will be much happier knowing I am in control of my destiny. If you read this blog last week I now want to ask for a favor. The favor is helping me get my business as a speaker going. The “Niche” that has my speaking fires a blaze are; talking to groups of going through divorce as a child and now as a parent, stay at home parents trying to get back into the work force (I was for two years a stay at home dad), and motivating yourself when you think all hope is lost. Please contact me at thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com and we can see how I can help your organization. Plus there will be announcements very soon of the website going live so you can follow me on Twitter @motivationbytdm.


Thank you for coming with me on my continued journey and another new chapter of my life. Please think about what has been written here today and along with that think about how you want the next chapter of your life to be put into words. Have a day and follow your passion.

What is in your back pack

I am out of here, adios my friends, and peace out as you kids would say. I have had it with my lack luster career life and the time has come. Before starting to write my blogs my head felt that I had nothing to say nor did I feel that anyone would read my stuff. Well being a person who every once in a while needs a push (ok a good kick) I received that kick in the, well never mind, this week from Mike Faber. Mike is a professional speaker and he talks about leadership and has a book on it as well. He is also a member of the National Speakers Association and I met him at the Colorado Chapter. I can not tell you that the hour I spent with Mike (http://www.mikefaber.com/) and explaining to him how I was frustrated receiving job notices from people who wanted me to start my own insurance office. My heart is not into job searching day in and day out. Mike was wonderful at listening to what I want to do. What do I want to do? If you saw the movie “Up in the Air” with George Clooney as the character “Ryan Bingham” who travels the country firing people. Ok this is not what I want to do. Clooney’s character also does a side business as a speaker AND that my friend is what I have want to do. Mike was able to help guide me to creating baby steps to get my goal started.

The next phase is to start a business plan and set some goals for me. For example get in front of groups no matter how small but get speaking and practicing. Another part to this is my branding and no not the type that is very hot and hurts. I am talking about naming the business and starting a website. I have a simple idea that I want to use so please stay tuned for that. Please understand that this IS going to happen.

I am still going out on job interviews (as few as they have been coming in) and with that there are two lessons I learned that I want to share with you. The first lesson is to bring your “A” game everyday of your life. Here is my example I want to give you (someday this will cost you) for free. I am a person who usually over prepares for job interviews and not saying that is a bad thing but I enjoy bring; writing examples, Power Point’s I have created, and recommendation letters. I did not bring my “A” game yesterday and part of the reason was that my mind set was more of a sensation of not feeling a awareness of positive energy from the company. I had a phone interview set for a specific time and the person was 15 minutes late for the call along with no apology. Maybe I am picky about common courtesy. However I did get a face to face interview and as I was sitting there I was thinking that my examples would have been great to of had with me, not to impress but more of a point to show professionalism.

The second life lesson of what I learned about myself yesterday is simply, my passion right now (even not bringing income) are my blogs and the potential of having my own speaking business. I get a sort of giddiness when I was at the Colorado Chapter of the National Speakers Association because I am in a ballroom with people who are doing what I want and will be doing. This is my point to you and that is WHAT IS YOUR PASSION? I am sure you have heard this question many times and that is “What job do you want to do if you did not get paid to do it?” Friends we need to take back ownership of our lives and this is the day to do it because tomorrow never comes. Think about what you rather should be doing and write down the “How’s” of getting there. Find people who are doing the thing you want to DO. Look on the web, go to the local library, attend meetings, network, but stop wishing and find your true passion. I am going to tell you or I guess more of a warning to you and very soon I am going to ask for your help. I know there are business clubs, social clubs, or even a family event and what ever it is I want to speak at your events. I want to show you in person my passion and motivation to be who I was meant to be in THIS life time. Please think about this and let me know how I can be a part of a group meeting you will be having. Please contact me and really let’s help each other out. You can contact me at: thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com Operators are standing by, ok not really but you never know.

Right now I am going to take some poetic licensing and if you have seen the move “Up in the Air” you will get it. You have a back pack, and in the back pack there are all of the reasons why you can’t or won’t follow your passion. What is in there? Look in the back pack and stick your hand in it, reach in and pull out the first excuse, look at it. You now have two choices of what to do with that so called excuse; First place it again into the back pack OR throw it away, so what is it going to be? Keep reaching in and keep picking out excuse after excuse and when you are finally done “What is in your back pack?”

Tips to help out with daily job search

I was playing phone tag today with not only a great human being, a mentor, and a very good friend of mine named Ed. He was telling me that he is still working in NY but it will be coming to a close because of the project he is currently on. I was on the same project before I jumped ship. Anyway I was very sad to hear that he will be out of work like many of us but it really got me thinking (well one I had not showered yet) of maybe expressing what I do during my day that might help you get through job searching. I hope these tips will help and maybe even if you are currently working you could use these as well or possibly pass them on. These are in no particular order but more of guidelines.

I can not tell you that to me the most vital tip I can give you is physical fitness. I am currently workout six days a week and sometimes twice a day. Now please do not go to that extreme, I just like to get out of the house. Sometimes my second workout is a simple walk or a bike ride. However create a routine and write down your workouts on a calendar. Please try and set goals as well.


We just talked about writing down your workouts on a calendar well do the same for your day. We all need some type of structure so create how you want your day to go. For example I am in the gym by 5:30 AM (yes in the morning) and usually home by 7:30 AM. I then make breakfast and do not power on my laptop until I am done eating. I also set a time when I power off my computer because I do not want to be tied to it, so by 7 PM I shut it down.

I would highly recommend dropping financial things you currently do not need. To some of you there is the thought of “DUH” however I just need to mention it. I looked at my cell phone and changed my plan to save money. I have not had any cable/satellite so that is one financial that I do not incur. I watch a lot of DVD’S/VHS movies.

This is a great time to really re-invent you as well. Dig deep in your soul and ask “What is my true passion?” Is this the opportunity to go after that goal you have always wanted to try?

Since January of this year I am working on finishing up my degree. If you have yours maybe do you want to go for your masters? There are also certificate programs you can look into for example maybe project management or becoming a personal trainer.

Nothing is permanent. Please remember that this situation is just a bump in the road and you will be working. Along with that keeping a positive mind is SO vital.

Get out and have coffee with a friend who might be in the same situation as you. I have a great friend Denise who is also someone I consider as a mentor. She has been out of work close to a year and we had coffee a couple of weeks ago. Not only could we simple vent to each other but exchange ideas of job hunting.

I have through the years collected business cards. I have gone through these cards and sent emails to contacts. I have received responses back, not from all I have emailed but it keeps your name out there in case they hear something.

I know to some this is going to sound “hokey” but I firmly believe this is a necessary tool for everyday life. I watch several times a week the documentary “The Secret” and I learn something new every time I watch it. For example I did not know there were bloopers on the DVD. Who knew? Not me.

What the heck how about creating your own blog? Maybe even a video blog? Being creative will help produce other thoughts that you might not have thought about in your job search. I am even learning how to write proposals for speaking engagements.

Read books or magazines that not only keep your interest but help you stay focused. I broke down and subscribed to Success Magazine. The very cool thing to me about Success is that with every issue it comes with a CD of the people who were interviewed for that particular issue. The current issue has Jillian Michaels on the cover who is one of the personal trainers with the TV show “Biggest Loser.” If you have read my blog before I also recommended the book “Get Hired Fast” by Brian Graham. This is a great book to help with the job search and different ideas to get interviews.

Stay focused on house chores. The little things to stay on top of like; laundry, vacuum, and the dishes. I make my bed everyday because this was a habit I did while I was working and it makes me feel good.

I have several comedies I watch just to laugh. I will watch stuff like; Ron White (who will be here on May 15), Jeff Dunham (Walter is my favorite) and a concert DVD of “Blueman Group.” If you have never heard of these people look them up and get their stuff (what else are your going to watch?). I have Blueman on right now.

I have spent time at the school that my son Connor attends as a volunteer. That is a lot of fun and I get to see him in his own world. My point here is to volunteer your time and you never know who you might meet?

My first week out of work was very hard (this is week five) and knowing I needed to create a daily routine was something to me that was very important. If you feel that maybe you are getting depressed (it is natural) seek some type of help. This is not an easy time but I have stated that you need to stay positive and remember that when you get an interview (or several) and they do not hire you. That is that companies failure not yours. I can not emphasis the importance of happy thoughts.

Thank you for reading this blog, and I have also created another one about being a divorced dad. Please go and visit beingconnorsdad.blogspot.com. Again thank you for all of your support during my time of also job searching. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you as well. Finally I have received emails from friends asking how they can find out when my newest blogs come out. Well if you have a Twitter account you will locate me at: motivationbytdm or just ask me.

Treating your friends like a pet

Here is my story of well the last two years and what I mean about treating your friends like your pet. I was married and we have a son and a dog. From time to time I get my dog (ok Connor’s dog) along with Connor. It is a real treat to have them both over and there is something so magical when you have the combination of a boy and his dog. Connor has Friday off of school and he wanted to spend more time with me this weekend. Let me just say that is another humbling experience when you child wants to spend time with you. I know that we need to get as much time together because there will (hopefully never) that day when he does not need you and would rather “hang with his homies” or what ever the kids say today. I picked up Connor on a Wednesday night and once I get his bag, bike, and scooter in the car he starts to cry. I am thinking that it is because he is going to miss his mom. When I was his age I went through the same thing when my parents were divorced, so I fully understand. However that was not the case, he was upset because he wanted to bring Keewee the family dog, and she is an Australian Shepherd. He asked if we could have her for the weekend. Originally we had plans that included time away from home but those plans changed so I told him “yes she can come with us.” We both were happy to have the three of us together.

Last night when I was laying in bed Keewee jumped into bed and I started to rub her belly and telling her that she was a “good girl.” Then it occurred to me why don’t we treat others like our pets? We do not praise enough either in the work place or at home enough. I made a very conscience effort this morning to be more aware of the positive things that Connor was doing. For example I had the alarm set for 7 AM to get Connor up and dressed before breakfast in-order to get Keewee a walk. Not only was he up a few minutes before 7, he was dressed. Not only was he dressed but the attitude he had was very positive. He was very happy and I was too because it meant that there would be no battles to get out the door on time. I told him right away how proud of him I was for being dressed and ready. Another example to treat people like our pets is to simply be genuine when giving out praises. Another example in the morning was that Connor was sitting at the table eating his breakfast. To me that was another positive occurrence since he was not only eating but not as I call it “goofing.” I then told him again how proud I was of him eating his breakfast.

To many of you this might not be a big thing I mean you ate breakfast and nobody told you how proud they were for doing it. Nobody gave you a High-Five for getting dressed all by yourself. The point for me was to encourage good behavior as well as setting a positive tone for Connor and his day going forward while at school. There are often times we hear that old saying” someone got out of bed on the wrong side.” I used to have a boss who would tell us that we had a choice of how to control our moods. We could be in a good one or a bad one it was our choice, it was our decision. For the longest time I honestly did not “get it” nor did I even think about it, until recently reading books like “How Starbucks Saved My Life” by Michael Gates Gill or “Fish” by Stephen C. Lundin PH.D, Harry Paul, and John Christensen. Honestly don’t you as a person feel better telling someone that they did a great job on a proposal or thanking someone who drove you to a sporting event?

The joy that I have for Connor and Keewee is so electrifying when the two are here and part of my life. As I am writing this Keewee is just laying on the floor after a long walk we finished up. As we walked I would praise her because I want to let her know the pleasure she brings to me. Now why can’t we do that for one another on a daily basis? I will be realistic here and say I do not mean for you to go up to your boss and give them a belly rub, no I think that is usually a HR issue. When was the last time you did speak to your boss or a co-worker and simply say “I enjoy working with you” or something to that effect. When was the last time you told a friend or loved one something positive? Heck if you really do want to treat someone like a dog ask them “want to go for a walk?”

I lost my moose

As I am standing in the alleyway between of the row of garages at my house or as we now call it the “rink” I am having a “HUH” moment? You see I had just tried to score a long range goal and totally missed so my poor son Connor had to go and chase down the ball. While he was running to get the ball his friend Shay who also is seven turns to me and says “you are loosing your moose.” So this is where I am having my “HUH” moment. I am running all of the data in my head of trying to figure out what he means by losing my moose? I had to ask “Shay what do you mean I lost my moose?” He said “you know trying to score a goal by running quick and scoring.” I said to him “do you mean I have lost my moves?” He said “ya your moose” ok he did try and say moves but to me it sounded like moose.

Then as this week slowly comes to a close towards the weekend for some, and others who are struggling to find employment unfortunately everyday is a weekend. I started to think that I have no “moves” when it comes to job searching. I think there has to be a better way. In past blogs I have told you about the book “Get Hired Fast” by Brian Graham and his book talks about not cold calling companies but to research the company. Then call the company directly because as many of realize our resumes go well I do not know where they go. I think of a “South Park” episode of the underwear gnomes and how they would steal underwear and take it to their caves. I think that is where our resumes go to. Maybe, just maybe our resumes are actually touched by human hands but only because they have either a bird or a new puppy (if you know what I mean).

How do we get our “Moves” back? Ok here is what I truly believe that will help all of us. Sometimes we have to admit when we are wrong and I will 100% admit I was wrong about yoga. HUH? Yes this has really helped me with my anger at times. I have an article if you want me to send it to you about yoga and depression please let me know if you want me to send it to you (hockeybra@yahoo.com). Next to help with our “moves” find a group to belong to either near your house or even one on the internet. I belong to a couple of groups through my LinkedIn account. Last thing to get the “moves” back volunteer someplace. I have been spending time at my son Connor’s school as what they call “Watch Dog.” This is meant for dad’s to be involved with their kids at school. I get to spend time in different classrooms and even get to participate in P.E. The last time I was there I taught a girl how to throw a football after she said she could not do it.

There you go with three ways we all can help get our “moves” back. First try yoga and it is not easy but it is a great way to exercise as well as to clear your mind. Studies do show that we can be very creative during physical exercise by generating ideas. Second find a group that you can be apart of either in a physical location or virtual. A website that I have started to use that has groups is sparkspeople.com and it is to help with weight loss support. However there are several different groups that there are out there on sparspeople (plus I blog on it). Last get out and volunteer someplace that you can enjoy. I am no math person but I was able to help some of the kids in Connor’s class yesterday with math issues. The best part was they were able to get the answer correct and I learned as well.

This week sometime Yahoo had an article about the economy is starting to come back. Well the last time I checked the unemployment rate was still at 9.7 but there does seem to be some signs that it is getting better with people spending a little bit more out there. With that being said yes it is going to take time for many of us to find a decent paying job but we need to stay positive and focused on our daily goals. For example my daily goal is to research and write three introductions so I can call a company to try and get an interview. Does this daily goal get achieved everyday? Well honestly no it does not. Remember only you can look at yourself in the mirror everyday meaning did you give your best today to get your “Moose” back?

I have been truly humbled this past week and thank you first to Angie for calling me out. Yes I was having a bit of a solo party or as Angie put it my own “Pity Party” after only week one of unemployment. I guess my frustration of letting myself get into this situation was a little to much to take in week one but I am very good now. I then see this post from one of my class mates and this really floored me. I was very taken back, here is a person who I have never met, we only speak through postings through our homework and this was a moment while reading this I will never forget.

Tommy,

I have to say because of reading your post; you have touched and motivated a part of me to start my own blog. After reading your post and reading some of your blogs I was very interested in doing the same for myself as a way of generally expressing my feelings and thoughts. I started it but haven’t posted anything yet due to a little bit of time constraints but already have items in mind to post. The site is:

http://livingtoachieve.blogspot.com/


Thank you Tommy, see you learn and inspire everyday, sometimes without knowing it!!!
- Yusuf

Please check back with my friend Yusuf’s blog and I know I too will follow him and his words of wisdom.

I am upset with myself because I was under the impression that if you get only a few comments posted on a blog that nobody was reading it and I was way off base AGAIN.

Hey Tommy!

Just thought I'd let you know that I DO read your blog, but I've never taken the time to tell you about it...

Mainly because I don't have anything to tell!

In all the time that I've known you, I had no idea that you had any interest in (or talent for) writing! I do know that you are a very skillful motivator. Ask me if I ever thought that I would be going to the gym on anything like a regular basis. Answer = no. Did I continue my new-found healthy ways after you; Jonathan and I went into different markets. Answer again = no.

Am I now thinking I should be resuming that healthful regimen. This time, Answer = yes. Thankfully yes.

Unlike you, however, I was never a successful competitor in sports. Unless you call eating and drinking a sport. But recently I have been seriously considering getting less "out of shape". Your latest blog has motivated me to do it, even in your absence! See, you're definitely motivator material!

Mark
(aka Iggy)

Thank you SO much Mark and all of you who do read this so called passion of mine I do not always deserve friends like you. My very good friend Chris K leaves his comment section off on his blog, so you can not add a comment and I am thinking that is what I need to do to put my ego in check. Yes it is an ego thing to see those comments but I realized that should not be the reason why I write, it should be to be a positive person along with positive messages. I have even gone back to re-reading one of Og Mandino’s book titled “The Greatest Salesman In The World” if you have never read it please pick it up! This is an easy read plus a very simple message and the book has started to change my attitude for the better and I needed an attitude change these days. I will just say this because I so highly recommend this book; the first “Scroll” (told you that you need to get the book) is about “Love” and I know that in my heart I still have a lot (ok lot’s) of hate still in there and I truly need to replace it with more love towards people.

Spring cleaning and no I do not mean your house but our minds but if you want to swing by and do some here at my humble abode that would be nice. What I mean is of people who are not positive in your world or even you are not positive towards them. These are people if you talk to them or email them they have nothing nice to say and again visa versa. I did some cleaning of my own this week to help me realize that my destructive behavior at times just fuels that negative fire and creates extra energy that we don’t need to exhort. Think about whom you have wronged and there is just no going back or again the other way around.

I need to say what a great week this has been but I will be tested next week. I was very fortunate to have the family dog “Keewee” stay with me while Connor was on vacation. She is an Australian Shepherd and very affectionate. Having her this week was a blessing because not only did it get me out of the house several times a day (our weather was perfect this week) but it all boils down to unconditional love. I will miss her next week but here is a learning opportunity for me and I want to pass this along to you my friends. We can not sit here and be tied to a computer even at work, get up and get out. I know what I need to do next week and for me that is going to be getting out for walks or runs plus this is a perfect time to get our bikes tuned up.

Before I get to my shout outs here is a quote that I cam across while doing homework last night. Please copy it and print it out.

You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. Winnie-the-Pooh


SHOUT OUTS
Angie thank you for reminding me to that some days we need to laugh at ourselves.

Ben for your spiritual advice because I know that is something missing currently.

Denise I can not tell you in words what your friendship means to me other then THANK YOU!

Mark AKA Iggy, you are one of the funniest people I have ever met and let us know when we can start buying products on line from your daughter’s bakery.

Patti I know you are going through some rough times right now, but I know you have a strong heart and this is only temporary.

Donna AKA “Southern Belle” keep being a positive person with your family.

Keewee I know you are a dog and can not read but you have always been there for me in good times and bad. I love you and will miss having you around.

Leslee I am honored to of met you and thank you for your responses on Twitter.

Yusuf I hope that someday I will repay you for your kindness in our virtual world and please tell the family you need a day offJ

Jan H I need to say thank you for your positive messages and advice while I try to go through my physical transformation.

Tony Horton the inventor of P90X!!!!!!!!!!

Chris K a life long friend and fellow writer, we need to head over to Sluggers for a drink J

DJ Thank you for posting comments and all of the pool advice back in Shelton.

J$ You have never steered me wrong and here is to someday working together again.

Bob H My current teacher Thank you for your words of wisdom and your kind words of encouragement.

I would rather be laughing

Riddle me this batman, when does the motivator need motivating? Well could it be a night like tonight when you think all is well but it is not? I am honestly happy to have the break from travel (no really) because I am able to do things that normally the situation would not be available to me. Last night here in Colorado we had a dumping of snow so for the kids that meant well DUH no school. This meant for me to be asked to take my son Connor to a sledding hill. OH yes and I did some sledding as well. This was a great memory that I hope to never forget. Is that why I am sitting here leaking tears? Not really sure.

You think that sometimes you ARE in control of your life but maybe life is telling you “I don’t think so” and you need to figure out of to regain it back. My grandfather “Marty” who for many years I thought came up with the saying of “LIFE IS NOT FAIR” would say that and well why is it not fair? You and I are good people, I mean we don’t cheat on our wives, have not killed anyone, or even tossed a snowball at a 7 year old. OOPS hold up guilty there, um, moving on.

For me all I want to do is be happy and to many that is not noticeably in this day and age. Ok enough of being a downer. We need to focus on us and what we need to do to be happy. First off we need to have some type of income and unfortunately that IS life but what? I want you to believe in yourself and be happy at a job doing what your PASSION is.

You need to refuse that what ever your job is, is defining you. My personal issue is what I like to call the “Ross complex.” Do you remember the show “Friends” and the character “Ross?” He was married three times and because of being in a failed marriage some of us are labeled not single or in between relationships but “DIVORECED” and I am tired of having a label define who I am. My passion is trying motivating people and being a happy male person so why do we need to have others or even documentations define my failures?

Today March 24, 2010 I just feel like a lost sheep and there are to many obstacles in my way for me either to go over or around them in order to achieve my goals. I am just a simple guy who wants just the best out of you but when I can not even live those expectations what is the use of having hope there is? When you have a day where the world has stopped and all there is MY son, a hill, and a sled there is nothing else to life or is there?

Moving Forward

As I look over the cliff all I can see is very thick mist. Through the mist I barely can see trees popping out of the mist. The valley looks like hundreds of miles long, to far to even think about walking. When I look down from the edge again there is nothing to see through the mist of the trees and jungle. I don’t know what to do. My choices and there are several ways to look for a new path, well that is what I think. First choice to find a new path is to simple try and climb down. Second choice will to go a different direction but left or right? Third choice is to turn around and go back but how did I get here in the first place?

Turning around is NOT an option and if I do turn back my mind thinks about the homeless people I have been passing on my walk to work. I am scared that my life is going to take that path of a downward spiral. No I do not want to turn around and go back the way I just came from. Scratch this choice off the list.

The last time my journey brought me to a dead end some people said I was depressed. My feeling when I hear that is maybe there was just denial in me (I still think I could play in net for the Black Hawks). I think this time my situation is better and have a better support system then I did almost two years ago. Plus there are writing opportunities I want to explore with this time off such as trade magazines and growing my Twitter followers. In my mind as I continue looking over the cliff and seeing the green trees through the mist there is a calming sensation in my being.

What way do I need to go? Well does it really matter if I go left or right? I don’t think so, only because either direction is going to take me somewhere but where? There is truly no wrong way but what about climbing down the cliff? There is a chance that the path is actually closer then I can see through the mist. There is also the wait and see approach as well.

Here is what I do know though about this temporary situation. I have set goals for this year:

Ø I am going to get down to 175 pounds by June 1.
Ø I am going to maintain a “B” or better average for school.
Ø I am going to have a new job opportunity by March 15.
Ø I am going to have a waist size of 34” by June 1.
Ø I will post twice weekly to both of my Blogs on Monday’s and Friday’s.
Ø I am going to spend more time with Connor.
Ø I am going to get my bike fixed so I can ride with Connor.
Ø I am going to write a business plan by April 5.
Ø I will play hockey by the summer.
Ø I will take a cooking class.
Ø I will have something I wrote get published in a magazine.
Ø I am going to maintain my weight goals of 175 and 34” waist by December 31.
Ø I will take one of my mom’s yoga classes.
Ø I will look for a mentor to help me achieve becoming a speaker by January 31.
Ø I will try to put the past behind me.

Ok here is where I am at for the goals of 2010. I will be down to 175 it is going to take more hard work and better eating habits. The travel is ending so therefore I can start cooking for myself. I have had two classes and respectively A and B. I have not found a new job as of yet. The blog writing is very much fun and I have not worked as hard on it as I should. The Bodybuilding.com blog has been a hard one to write because of my failure at getting weight down, however I will start that one back up this weekend so please look for it. I have had some extra time with Connor and as of today being my last day on this job there will be plenty more time to spend with him. The business plan might come sooner then later with my time off. I have been in touch with some people about possibly playing hockey again so we will see. I am definitely looking into a cooking class during my time off. There are several trade magazines that I have thought about sending articles to. Connor and I will be taking a trip to see my mom in May and I will let you know about the yoga. I have been in touch with Jon Gordon a motivational speaker who I have written about in this blog so he has been a mentor to me. The last one, well I will need to get back to you on thatJ There you have a quick update on my goals. How are yours doing?

With these goals as a map to take me on this journey I feel confident that no matter what path I end up taking they will lead me to a positive place along with new experiences. With my eyes closed the picture in my mind I see myself walking away from the edge of the cliff and going around the valley to the path I need to find and then walk on to take me to where I need to be next. On a road trip many years ago with my very good friend Chris K, he would ask me at a stop “Left or Right?” I would say “Left” and he would go right. Well in my head I am going one way and this time I don’t have Chris or anyone to guide me except myself. Therefore this is the decision I have made so did I make the right one this time or not? Like I said, my confidence is high that I have but one thing is for sure there will be no turning back.

Very special SHOUT OUTS to a couple of people I am very proud to call them friends. These two individuals have taken the steps to quit smoking. Thank you Leslee and Zach for doing this not only for yourself but for the rest of us so we can stop nagging you.

Rejected

Here I am at cruising altitude of some 30,000 feet heading back to San Francisco for another week of employment. That is a good thing but I was hoping by now to be on the next chapter of my life, meaning basically a new job. I had not been home for about three weeks and the mail was a bit like opening up Christmas presents well except for the bills. However I was surprised to see an envelope from a company I had recently interviewed with (yes the “meeting” of the day of my car accident) and was a bit upset to read the standard form rejection letter from them. Then just before I turned my computer here in the plane, I started to read the article from Darren Hardy who is the editor of one of my favorite magazines “Success” and light bulb went on (it was a “green” light bulb that went off).

Let’s you and I get real here, every time we go to an interview we think “Only if I get this job I can….” To me getting this rejection letter is not the end of the world and yes I very much wanted that job to be a part of a corporate university. However this just gets me closer to me wanting to start my own speaking business. This month’s issue of Success magazine is about leadership. I had an interview last year and was told I did not have enough leadership training on my resume ok my bad but the manager did not even show up to my interview presentation. My point is, the heck with people telling you that we do not have experience to do something. Let me prove you wrong and guess what ladies and gentlemen of the jury I am going to lead us all to victory when I prove that yes I can teach leadership or what ever else my mind is set to do.

I was disappointed by the scale on Saturday but the results might not have been physical but more mental. I have been in the hotel gym working out and feeling the effects from it. The same goes with people telling you that we are not qualified to do a job let me prove it to you but show up. I go to the gym because yes it is healthy for me but I want to prove to the Nay Sayers this summer at the pool. Even recently I was told not really directly but in a round about way I was not a valued member of the team and needed to step up. Well the gauntlet was dropped and then proved to people that they were wrong. What a great feeling it was when I was then later told that I did walk the walk if you know what I mean. Will I be a success right away trying to start a business? I do not know but when you set a goal the fun part are the daily steps getting there.

The selfish person in me is going ask a huge favor to think of me for one moment. If you belong to a club, organization, or even a work team meeting I would enjoy coming to speak for a half hour. My topics are motivation (duh) leadership (um yes duh) and customer service. Think about it and get back to me because it is like Elvis once sang (when he is not working at the local Piggly Wiggly) “It’s now or never.” I choose now.

Well I can feel the plane starting to descend into San Francisco so it is time to post and sign off. I truly hope all of you have a great and positive week no matter where you are. Next installment I am going to give you status update on where I am at with my 2010 goals so let’s compare notes. I really would enjoy hearing from you about how your 2010 has been going, good and bad.

SHOUT OUT!!!
Shout to my main man and that is my son Connor who turns 7 on the 11 this week. Also happy birthday to MR D Jones. Our GREAT friend “Mac” would have been celebrating his birthday on the 8. Mac you will always be missed my brother from another mother.

Please judge yourself but not me.

Please sit down I have to make a little bit of a confession. Now before I bare my soul about this minor incident you must first promise not to have disgust and have an open mind. We must pinky swear in order for us to move forward. I was in the hotel gym and I was just doing my normal rest period between moving from one exercise to the next. I noticed that figure skating was on and as a hockey fan I knew I had to look away and get back to my weight lifting. Then it happened, as I was looking away this skater fell. Not only did she fall but got right up in a split second. I was then curious to see how she would handle the rest of her routine. I was looking for body language or even just skating off and calling it a night. I was truly amazed that she finished her routine and still had a smile on her face when the routine was over.

We all have had times where we mentally fall down and just want to lay there, even if it is the middle of the street. I walk to the office everyday and see the homeless and just wonder to myself thinking “do they want to get back up? Or have they been so beat down that they are content with their status. I am fully aware that there are several who have mental issues. However when we do hit low points in our life it does take more energy to get back up on our feet VS just placing ourselves in a cocoon to shut off the world.

When I was watching this figure skater fall my first thought was all of those days training, the dedication to finally be on the world stage to have this happen in just a blink of an eye. Yesterday as I was rooting for the United States hockey team try and win a Gold medal and to fall short in over time. The same mental toughness that Olympic athletes go through is not any different between you and me. Think about your job and your daily grind to achieve your goal. Your goal could be collecting a pay check or working on a promotion. The extra hours you put in to write a proposal can equate to an athlete going through their daily training routine.

As I am writing this my mind starts to think of one of my favorite Denver Bronco players Ed McCaffery. He was a wide receiver who took many hits but what I admired about him was his ability to pop right up after a hit. Yes there were times when it took longer for him to get back up but his resiliency to me was amazing. My point to all of this is yes we are going to get knocked down or trip and fall to the ground. We just need to realize that yes we have hit a low but first to GET BACK UP. What does a bull rider do when he gets thrown from a bull? Get’s right back up and simply dust himself off.

The true test for you is going to be when a situation trips you to the ground but what will you do to get yourself back up. Last week I took a fall when I failed to turn in two school work assignments. I immediately advised my teacher that I will get the papers turned in and I did. Then my focus was not to let my mistake ruin my day and accept my grade. If that figure skater had focused on the fall I don’t think she would of popped back up. Just remember that when you do fall nobody is judging you like that figure skater so once you get up give yourself a “10.”

SHOUT OUT!!!!

Happy thoughts to my friend Patty C whose mother is sick.

A good friend of mine Tyrone is in the hospital so happy thoughts please.

Listen to your PASSION

I am writing this as I listen to some of my favorite musicians and in the past I have talked to you about how music has influenced me in my life. On my IPOD one play list I created is called “workout” and these are simply songs I listen to as I workout. One of them is a song called ‘Lose Yourself” by Eminem. I can hear some of you know rolling your eyes but I am not going to have a battle of music right now I save those debates with Clay “M”. I want to talk about passion and not only what is your passion but what to do with it.

As I listen to “Lose Yourself” I can not help but think of the words. The first line “Look if you had one shot one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted one moment would you capture or would you let it slip” are very powerful words. The rest of the song talks about how he was in a rap contest and basically he bombed. He did not give up his dream though to be the best. Another artist I listen to is Kid Rock (stop rolling your eyes) and his song “Cocky” I love his message in the song it just says “I’m cocky but it is not bragging if you can back it up.” To me both of these songs represent the inner drive that the artists have all created though their passion of knowing what they want out of life. Love or hate Eminem and Kid Rock they are doing what they want to do because they have a drive.

My passion of wanting to be a professional speaker is where my drive is currently focused on. I understand that it will take time, dedication and hard work but that is how it should be correct? When you have your “AH HA” moment of knowing what you truly want to do in life that stirs the fire in your belly. You feel that momentum no matter what time of day it is and the next thing you are on your computer researching the HOW you can make that AH HA a reality?

I told you that one of my play lists is a “Workout” but before I left home to come back to the West coast I down loaded a audio book. I did a lot of research on this author and looked at the reviews before I paid for this book and I am very happy I did. The book is called “Crush It” by Gary Vaynerchuk is worth every penny spent. First off Gary is a NY guy and wants to someday own his favorite football team the NY Jets. He is very high energy and when you are working out and listening to a book it is just like listing to high energy music so very motivating. “Crush It” will help you if you want to start your own business or take an idea and expanded it to a bigger audience. I have joined Twitter because I want to take my blog to the masses. I am next going to (in a short time) start doing a video blog. Why you ask? This is to get my business, my name out there. Gary gives you several platforms for you to get your message out on several different “Social Networking Sites” other then the most popular ones. Still not sure if I am ready for Face Book yet.

I know you will be rolling your eyes soon but I just want to end by saying follow your passion find what drives you. We all have worked for that company where you wanted to quit to start a business and work for yourself. Just remember you might end up working more hours but the flip side is that this is YOUR business and you could always fire yourself. On that note I want to leave you a song title (get ready for the eyes to roll) by Depeche Mode and that is “Nothing’s Impossible.”