I am developing a new talk called “Little Red Wagon” and it is about us walking and pulling a wagon with our emotional stuff in it. The point is that once we get home or to the office we leave the wagon with our “stuff” outside so it does not interfere with the rest of our time. Some of my stuff that I pull with me is every time I drive past my former house or getting an email from my ex wife. This is what I am pulling in my little red wagon. Three weeks ago I had to bring it with me and leave it outside at Connor’s school for “Family Night” now there is an oxymoron.
Connor’s school sent out an email about Family night. When I read the email it stated that if your last name was A-N you would go to family night on Monday, M-Z you would go on Tuesday. I had a commitment for Tuesday night and I emailed Connor’s teacher to ask if it is ok to show up on Monday instead? She responded back to say yes and it was not a problem and I thought wonderful because my wagon would be a little lighter or so I thought.
We can look at this one of two ways; either I still have issues or, oh never mind I still have issues. I will still admit and if you are the same PLEASE either email me thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com or place a comment, but I do not want to be in the same room with my ex wife. Heck it is bad enough being on the same planet (to mean?). Well from what my mom has told me that it took about ten years for my mom and dad to have a civil conversation. I am not saying that my ex and I do not have civil conversations, we do but I would rather not have any type of communication with her. Back to my point and yes I have issues but I am sure she as well wants to see me as much as I want to see her? I think it is the same for her as well.
I found out through emails on that day that the ex would be at FAMILY NIGHT the same night as well. Sometimes you win, sometimes you loose, and sometimes it gets rained out. On my way to the school I started to think of my emotional boxes in my wagon. I was thinking that I really do not have that many or do I? What is funny is that when I went to see Daryl my therapist she said I seemed very confident in myself (and I do) then two years ago when I first started to see her. I think about so called friendships that were destroyed that are in my wagon. Does your wagon seem heavy to pull? I have to tell you those two years this December my wagon is a lot lighter then it was in 2008.
What steps have you taken to lighten up your wagon? I have learned the power of letting things go that I could not control and that was actually a huge weight to get out of my wagon. I wanted to in my past control when I would speak to Connor on the phone. We would have short conversations and I wanted to hear him speak longer. I had to learn that a little boy has things like playing with his friends or goofing by playing WII is more important then talking to his dad. I understand that to Connor telling me about his day is not exciting to him and there are times when I ask to tell me more but if he starts to get pushed then he says less. Again things I could not control I learned had to be taken out of my wagon.
The goal of this is to not only have you think about the stuff we can control, but also help with our stress management. Think about stress and we can put it into two categories good/bad types of stress. Good stress is getting a new job or that first date with somebody new. Bad stress can be when we sit in traffic or your job. Well these are things that go into our wagon but also this needs to come out of your wagon because as we all know to much of bad stress is unhealthy for you. Now the trick is to create more positive stress in your life, and yes that may sound like another oxymoron but here me out. I have tons of CD’s in my car that deal with not just motivation but positive messages. I subscribe to Success Magazine and in each issue it comes with a CD of interviews with the editor of the magazine Darren Hardy. I do not mind driving all around Denver for meetings and giving speeches because I listen to the information and how I can better my business by listening to these wonderful CD’s. Ok so sitting in traffic is bad stress but if you turn the situation around and create good habits like putting books on tape/CD in your car then guess what your attitude will change as well. Once you get to where you are going after sitting on I94 in Chicago, you will be happy due to creating a better frame of mind once you arrive to your destination. Heck you might even start to LOVE rush our traffic.
Please let me know how I can serve you with my message. I am speaking to some really good groups around Colorado and would very much enjoy speaking to your group as well. Please contact me at thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com. Have a great day and life=risk.
