I was playing phone tag today with not only a great human being, a mentor, and a very good friend of mine named Ed. He was telling me that he is still working in NY but it will be coming to a close because of the project he is currently on. I was on the same project before I jumped ship. Anyway I was very sad to hear that he will be out of work like many of us but it really got me thinking (well one I had not showered yet) of maybe expressing what I do during my day that might help you get through job searching. I hope these tips will help and maybe even if you are currently working you could use these as well or possibly pass them on. These are in no particular order but more of guidelines.
I can not tell you that to me the most vital tip I can give you is physical fitness. I am currently workout six days a week and sometimes twice a day. Now please do not go to that extreme, I just like to get out of the house. Sometimes my second workout is a simple walk or a bike ride. However create a routine and write down your workouts on a calendar. Please try and set goals as well.
We just talked about writing down your workouts on a calendar well do the same for your day. We all need some type of structure so create how you want your day to go. For example I am in the gym by 5:30 AM (yes in the morning) and usually home by 7:30 AM. I then make breakfast and do not power on my laptop until I am done eating. I also set a time when I power off my computer because I do not want to be tied to it, so by 7 PM I shut it down.
I would highly recommend dropping financial things you currently do not need. To some of you there is the thought of “DUH” however I just need to mention it. I looked at my cell phone and changed my plan to save money. I have not had any cable/satellite so that is one financial that I do not incur. I watch a lot of DVD’S/VHS movies.
This is a great time to really re-invent you as well. Dig deep in your soul and ask “What is my true passion?” Is this the opportunity to go after that goal you have always wanted to try?
Since January of this year I am working on finishing up my degree. If you have yours maybe do you want to go for your masters? There are also certificate programs you can look into for example maybe project management or becoming a personal trainer.
Nothing is permanent. Please remember that this situation is just a bump in the road and you will be working. Along with that keeping a positive mind is SO vital.
Get out and have coffee with a friend who might be in the same situation as you. I have a great friend Denise who is also someone I consider as a mentor. She has been out of work close to a year and we had coffee a couple of weeks ago. Not only could we simple vent to each other but exchange ideas of job hunting.
I have through the years collected business cards. I have gone through these cards and sent emails to contacts. I have received responses back, not from all I have emailed but it keeps your name out there in case they hear something.
I know to some this is going to sound “hokey” but I firmly believe this is a necessary tool for everyday life. I watch several times a week the documentary “The Secret” and I learn something new every time I watch it. For example I did not know there were bloopers on the DVD. Who knew? Not me.
What the heck how about creating your own blog? Maybe even a video blog? Being creative will help produce other thoughts that you might not have thought about in your job search. I am even learning how to write proposals for speaking engagements.
Read books or magazines that not only keep your interest but help you stay focused. I broke down and subscribed to Success Magazine. The very cool thing to me about Success is that with every issue it comes with a CD of the people who were interviewed for that particular issue. The current issue has Jillian Michaels on the cover who is one of the personal trainers with the TV show “Biggest Loser.” If you have read my blog before I also recommended the book “Get Hired Fast” by Brian Graham. This is a great book to help with the job search and different ideas to get interviews.
Stay focused on house chores. The little things to stay on top of like; laundry, vacuum, and the dishes. I make my bed everyday because this was a habit I did while I was working and it makes me feel good.
I have several comedies I watch just to laugh. I will watch stuff like; Ron White (who will be here on May 15), Jeff Dunham (Walter is my favorite) and a concert DVD of “Blueman Group.” If you have never heard of these people look them up and get their stuff (what else are your going to watch?). I have Blueman on right now.
I have spent time at the school that my son Connor attends as a volunteer. That is a lot of fun and I get to see him in his own world. My point here is to volunteer your time and you never know who you might meet?
My first week out of work was very hard (this is week five) and knowing I needed to create a daily routine was something to me that was very important. If you feel that maybe you are getting depressed (it is natural) seek some type of help. This is not an easy time but I have stated that you need to stay positive and remember that when you get an interview (or several) and they do not hire you. That is that companies failure not yours. I can not emphasis the importance of happy thoughts.
Thank you for reading this blog, and I have also created another one about being a divorced dad. Please go and visit beingconnorsdad.blogspot.com. Again thank you for all of your support during my time of also job searching. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you as well. Finally I have received emails from friends asking how they can find out when my newest blogs come out. Well if you have a Twitter account you will locate me at: motivationbytdm or just ask me.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Treating your friends like a pet
Here is my story of well the last two years and what I mean about treating your friends like your pet. I was married and we have a son and a dog. From time to time I get my dog (ok Connor’s dog) along with Connor. It is a real treat to have them both over and there is something so magical when you have the combination of a boy and his dog. Connor has Friday off of school and he wanted to spend more time with me this weekend. Let me just say that is another humbling experience when you child wants to spend time with you. I know that we need to get as much time together because there will (hopefully never) that day when he does not need you and would rather “hang with his homies” or what ever the kids say today. I picked up Connor on a Wednesday night and once I get his bag, bike, and scooter in the car he starts to cry. I am thinking that it is because he is going to miss his mom. When I was his age I went through the same thing when my parents were divorced, so I fully understand. However that was not the case, he was upset because he wanted to bring Keewee the family dog, and she is an Australian Shepherd. He asked if we could have her for the weekend. Originally we had plans that included time away from home but those plans changed so I told him “yes she can come with us.” We both were happy to have the three of us together.
Last night when I was laying in bed Keewee jumped into bed and I started to rub her belly and telling her that she was a “good girl.” Then it occurred to me why don’t we treat others like our pets? We do not praise enough either in the work place or at home enough. I made a very conscience effort this morning to be more aware of the positive things that Connor was doing. For example I had the alarm set for 7 AM to get Connor up and dressed before breakfast in-order to get Keewee a walk. Not only was he up a few minutes before 7, he was dressed. Not only was he dressed but the attitude he had was very positive. He was very happy and I was too because it meant that there would be no battles to get out the door on time. I told him right away how proud of him I was for being dressed and ready. Another example to treat people like our pets is to simply be genuine when giving out praises. Another example in the morning was that Connor was sitting at the table eating his breakfast. To me that was another positive occurrence since he was not only eating but not as I call it “goofing.” I then told him again how proud I was of him eating his breakfast.
To many of you this might not be a big thing I mean you ate breakfast and nobody told you how proud they were for doing it. Nobody gave you a High-Five for getting dressed all by yourself. The point for me was to encourage good behavior as well as setting a positive tone for Connor and his day going forward while at school. There are often times we hear that old saying” someone got out of bed on the wrong side.” I used to have a boss who would tell us that we had a choice of how to control our moods. We could be in a good one or a bad one it was our choice, it was our decision. For the longest time I honestly did not “get it” nor did I even think about it, until recently reading books like “How Starbucks Saved My Life” by Michael Gates Gill or “Fish” by Stephen C. Lundin PH.D, Harry Paul, and John Christensen. Honestly don’t you as a person feel better telling someone that they did a great job on a proposal or thanking someone who drove you to a sporting event?
The joy that I have for Connor and Keewee is so electrifying when the two are here and part of my life. As I am writing this Keewee is just laying on the floor after a long walk we finished up. As we walked I would praise her because I want to let her know the pleasure she brings to me. Now why can’t we do that for one another on a daily basis? I will be realistic here and say I do not mean for you to go up to your boss and give them a belly rub, no I think that is usually a HR issue. When was the last time you did speak to your boss or a co-worker and simply say “I enjoy working with you” or something to that effect. When was the last time you told a friend or loved one something positive? Heck if you really do want to treat someone like a dog ask them “want to go for a walk?”
Last night when I was laying in bed Keewee jumped into bed and I started to rub her belly and telling her that she was a “good girl.” Then it occurred to me why don’t we treat others like our pets? We do not praise enough either in the work place or at home enough. I made a very conscience effort this morning to be more aware of the positive things that Connor was doing. For example I had the alarm set for 7 AM to get Connor up and dressed before breakfast in-order to get Keewee a walk. Not only was he up a few minutes before 7, he was dressed. Not only was he dressed but the attitude he had was very positive. He was very happy and I was too because it meant that there would be no battles to get out the door on time. I told him right away how proud of him I was for being dressed and ready. Another example to treat people like our pets is to simply be genuine when giving out praises. Another example in the morning was that Connor was sitting at the table eating his breakfast. To me that was another positive occurrence since he was not only eating but not as I call it “goofing.” I then told him again how proud I was of him eating his breakfast.
To many of you this might not be a big thing I mean you ate breakfast and nobody told you how proud they were for doing it. Nobody gave you a High-Five for getting dressed all by yourself. The point for me was to encourage good behavior as well as setting a positive tone for Connor and his day going forward while at school. There are often times we hear that old saying” someone got out of bed on the wrong side.” I used to have a boss who would tell us that we had a choice of how to control our moods. We could be in a good one or a bad one it was our choice, it was our decision. For the longest time I honestly did not “get it” nor did I even think about it, until recently reading books like “How Starbucks Saved My Life” by Michael Gates Gill or “Fish” by Stephen C. Lundin PH.D, Harry Paul, and John Christensen. Honestly don’t you as a person feel better telling someone that they did a great job on a proposal or thanking someone who drove you to a sporting event?
The joy that I have for Connor and Keewee is so electrifying when the two are here and part of my life. As I am writing this Keewee is just laying on the floor after a long walk we finished up. As we walked I would praise her because I want to let her know the pleasure she brings to me. Now why can’t we do that for one another on a daily basis? I will be realistic here and say I do not mean for you to go up to your boss and give them a belly rub, no I think that is usually a HR issue. When was the last time you did speak to your boss or a co-worker and simply say “I enjoy working with you” or something to that effect. When was the last time you told a friend or loved one something positive? Heck if you really do want to treat someone like a dog ask them “want to go for a walk?”
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I lost my moose
As I am standing in the alleyway between of the row of garages at my house or as we now call it the “rink” I am having a “HUH” moment? You see I had just tried to score a long range goal and totally missed so my poor son Connor had to go and chase down the ball. While he was running to get the ball his friend Shay who also is seven turns to me and says “you are loosing your moose.” So this is where I am having my “HUH” moment. I am running all of the data in my head of trying to figure out what he means by losing my moose? I had to ask “Shay what do you mean I lost my moose?” He said “you know trying to score a goal by running quick and scoring.” I said to him “do you mean I have lost my moves?” He said “ya your moose” ok he did try and say moves but to me it sounded like moose.
Then as this week slowly comes to a close towards the weekend for some, and others who are struggling to find employment unfortunately everyday is a weekend. I started to think that I have no “moves” when it comes to job searching. I think there has to be a better way. In past blogs I have told you about the book “Get Hired Fast” by Brian Graham and his book talks about not cold calling companies but to research the company. Then call the company directly because as many of realize our resumes go well I do not know where they go. I think of a “South Park” episode of the underwear gnomes and how they would steal underwear and take it to their caves. I think that is where our resumes go to. Maybe, just maybe our resumes are actually touched by human hands but only because they have either a bird or a new puppy (if you know what I mean).
How do we get our “Moves” back? Ok here is what I truly believe that will help all of us. Sometimes we have to admit when we are wrong and I will 100% admit I was wrong about yoga. HUH? Yes this has really helped me with my anger at times. I have an article if you want me to send it to you about yoga and depression please let me know if you want me to send it to you (hockeybra@yahoo.com). Next to help with our “moves” find a group to belong to either near your house or even one on the internet. I belong to a couple of groups through my LinkedIn account. Last thing to get the “moves” back volunteer someplace. I have been spending time at my son Connor’s school as what they call “Watch Dog.” This is meant for dad’s to be involved with their kids at school. I get to spend time in different classrooms and even get to participate in P.E. The last time I was there I taught a girl how to throw a football after she said she could not do it.
There you go with three ways we all can help get our “moves” back. First try yoga and it is not easy but it is a great way to exercise as well as to clear your mind. Studies do show that we can be very creative during physical exercise by generating ideas. Second find a group that you can be apart of either in a physical location or virtual. A website that I have started to use that has groups is sparkspeople.com and it is to help with weight loss support. However there are several different groups that there are out there on sparspeople (plus I blog on it). Last get out and volunteer someplace that you can enjoy. I am no math person but I was able to help some of the kids in Connor’s class yesterday with math issues. The best part was they were able to get the answer correct and I learned as well.
This week sometime Yahoo had an article about the economy is starting to come back. Well the last time I checked the unemployment rate was still at 9.7 but there does seem to be some signs that it is getting better with people spending a little bit more out there. With that being said yes it is going to take time for many of us to find a decent paying job but we need to stay positive and focused on our daily goals. For example my daily goal is to research and write three introductions so I can call a company to try and get an interview. Does this daily goal get achieved everyday? Well honestly no it does not. Remember only you can look at yourself in the mirror everyday meaning did you give your best today to get your “Moose” back?
Then as this week slowly comes to a close towards the weekend for some, and others who are struggling to find employment unfortunately everyday is a weekend. I started to think that I have no “moves” when it comes to job searching. I think there has to be a better way. In past blogs I have told you about the book “Get Hired Fast” by Brian Graham and his book talks about not cold calling companies but to research the company. Then call the company directly because as many of realize our resumes go well I do not know where they go. I think of a “South Park” episode of the underwear gnomes and how they would steal underwear and take it to their caves. I think that is where our resumes go to. Maybe, just maybe our resumes are actually touched by human hands but only because they have either a bird or a new puppy (if you know what I mean).
How do we get our “Moves” back? Ok here is what I truly believe that will help all of us. Sometimes we have to admit when we are wrong and I will 100% admit I was wrong about yoga. HUH? Yes this has really helped me with my anger at times. I have an article if you want me to send it to you about yoga and depression please let me know if you want me to send it to you (hockeybra@yahoo.com). Next to help with our “moves” find a group to belong to either near your house or even one on the internet. I belong to a couple of groups through my LinkedIn account. Last thing to get the “moves” back volunteer someplace. I have been spending time at my son Connor’s school as what they call “Watch Dog.” This is meant for dad’s to be involved with their kids at school. I get to spend time in different classrooms and even get to participate in P.E. The last time I was there I taught a girl how to throw a football after she said she could not do it.
There you go with three ways we all can help get our “moves” back. First try yoga and it is not easy but it is a great way to exercise as well as to clear your mind. Studies do show that we can be very creative during physical exercise by generating ideas. Second find a group that you can be apart of either in a physical location or virtual. A website that I have started to use that has groups is sparkspeople.com and it is to help with weight loss support. However there are several different groups that there are out there on sparspeople (plus I blog on it). Last get out and volunteer someplace that you can enjoy. I am no math person but I was able to help some of the kids in Connor’s class yesterday with math issues. The best part was they were able to get the answer correct and I learned as well.
This week sometime Yahoo had an article about the economy is starting to come back. Well the last time I checked the unemployment rate was still at 9.7 but there does seem to be some signs that it is getting better with people spending a little bit more out there. With that being said yes it is going to take time for many of us to find a decent paying job but we need to stay positive and focused on our daily goals. For example my daily goal is to research and write three introductions so I can call a company to try and get an interview. Does this daily goal get achieved everyday? Well honestly no it does not. Remember only you can look at yourself in the mirror everyday meaning did you give your best today to get your “Moose” back?
Friday, April 2, 2010
I have been truly humbled this past week and thank you first to Angie for calling me out. Yes I was having a bit of a solo party or as Angie put it my own “Pity Party” after only week one of unemployment. I guess my frustration of letting myself get into this situation was a little to much to take in week one but I am very good now. I then see this post from one of my class mates and this really floored me. I was very taken back, here is a person who I have never met, we only speak through postings through our homework and this was a moment while reading this I will never forget.
Tommy,
I have to say because of reading your post; you have touched and motivated a part of me to start my own blog. After reading your post and reading some of your blogs I was very interested in doing the same for myself as a way of generally expressing my feelings and thoughts. I started it but haven’t posted anything yet due to a little bit of time constraints but already have items in mind to post. The site is:
http://livingtoachieve.blogspot.com/
Thank you Tommy, see you learn and inspire everyday, sometimes without knowing it!!!
- Yusuf
Please check back with my friend Yusuf’s blog and I know I too will follow him and his words of wisdom.
I am upset with myself because I was under the impression that if you get only a few comments posted on a blog that nobody was reading it and I was way off base AGAIN.
Hey Tommy!
Just thought I'd let you know that I DO read your blog, but I've never taken the time to tell you about it...
Mainly because I don't have anything to tell!
In all the time that I've known you, I had no idea that you had any interest in (or talent for) writing! I do know that you are a very skillful motivator. Ask me if I ever thought that I would be going to the gym on anything like a regular basis. Answer = no. Did I continue my new-found healthy ways after you; Jonathan and I went into different markets. Answer again = no.
Am I now thinking I should be resuming that healthful regimen. This time, Answer = yes. Thankfully yes.
Unlike you, however, I was never a successful competitor in sports. Unless you call eating and drinking a sport. But recently I have been seriously considering getting less "out of shape". Your latest blog has motivated me to do it, even in your absence! See, you're definitely motivator material!
Mark
(aka Iggy)
Thank you SO much Mark and all of you who do read this so called passion of mine I do not always deserve friends like you. My very good friend Chris K leaves his comment section off on his blog, so you can not add a comment and I am thinking that is what I need to do to put my ego in check. Yes it is an ego thing to see those comments but I realized that should not be the reason why I write, it should be to be a positive person along with positive messages. I have even gone back to re-reading one of Og Mandino’s book titled “The Greatest Salesman In The World” if you have never read it please pick it up! This is an easy read plus a very simple message and the book has started to change my attitude for the better and I needed an attitude change these days. I will just say this because I so highly recommend this book; the first “Scroll” (told you that you need to get the book) is about “Love” and I know that in my heart I still have a lot (ok lot’s) of hate still in there and I truly need to replace it with more love towards people.
Spring cleaning and no I do not mean your house but our minds but if you want to swing by and do some here at my humble abode that would be nice. What I mean is of people who are not positive in your world or even you are not positive towards them. These are people if you talk to them or email them they have nothing nice to say and again visa versa. I did some cleaning of my own this week to help me realize that my destructive behavior at times just fuels that negative fire and creates extra energy that we don’t need to exhort. Think about whom you have wronged and there is just no going back or again the other way around.
I need to say what a great week this has been but I will be tested next week. I was very fortunate to have the family dog “Keewee” stay with me while Connor was on vacation. She is an Australian Shepherd and very affectionate. Having her this week was a blessing because not only did it get me out of the house several times a day (our weather was perfect this week) but it all boils down to unconditional love. I will miss her next week but here is a learning opportunity for me and I want to pass this along to you my friends. We can not sit here and be tied to a computer even at work, get up and get out. I know what I need to do next week and for me that is going to be getting out for walks or runs plus this is a perfect time to get our bikes tuned up.
Before I get to my shout outs here is a quote that I cam across while doing homework last night. Please copy it and print it out.
You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. Winnie-the-Pooh
SHOUT OUTS
Angie thank you for reminding me to that some days we need to laugh at ourselves.
Ben for your spiritual advice because I know that is something missing currently.
Denise I can not tell you in words what your friendship means to me other then THANK YOU!
Mark AKA Iggy, you are one of the funniest people I have ever met and let us know when we can start buying products on line from your daughter’s bakery.
Patti I know you are going through some rough times right now, but I know you have a strong heart and this is only temporary.
Donna AKA “Southern Belle” keep being a positive person with your family.
Keewee I know you are a dog and can not read but you have always been there for me in good times and bad. I love you and will miss having you around.
Leslee I am honored to of met you and thank you for your responses on Twitter.
Yusuf I hope that someday I will repay you for your kindness in our virtual world and please tell the family you need a day offJ
Jan H I need to say thank you for your positive messages and advice while I try to go through my physical transformation.
Tony Horton the inventor of P90X!!!!!!!!!!
Chris K a life long friend and fellow writer, we need to head over to Sluggers for a drink J
DJ Thank you for posting comments and all of the pool advice back in Shelton.
J$ You have never steered me wrong and here is to someday working together again.
Bob H My current teacher Thank you for your words of wisdom and your kind words of encouragement.
Tommy,
I have to say because of reading your post; you have touched and motivated a part of me to start my own blog. After reading your post and reading some of your blogs I was very interested in doing the same for myself as a way of generally expressing my feelings and thoughts. I started it but haven’t posted anything yet due to a little bit of time constraints but already have items in mind to post. The site is:
http://livingtoachieve.blogspot.com/
Thank you Tommy, see you learn and inspire everyday, sometimes without knowing it!!!
- Yusuf
Please check back with my friend Yusuf’s blog and I know I too will follow him and his words of wisdom.
I am upset with myself because I was under the impression that if you get only a few comments posted on a blog that nobody was reading it and I was way off base AGAIN.
Hey Tommy!
Just thought I'd let you know that I DO read your blog, but I've never taken the time to tell you about it...
Mainly because I don't have anything to tell!
In all the time that I've known you, I had no idea that you had any interest in (or talent for) writing! I do know that you are a very skillful motivator. Ask me if I ever thought that I would be going to the gym on anything like a regular basis. Answer = no. Did I continue my new-found healthy ways after you; Jonathan and I went into different markets. Answer again = no.
Am I now thinking I should be resuming that healthful regimen. This time, Answer = yes. Thankfully yes.
Unlike you, however, I was never a successful competitor in sports. Unless you call eating and drinking a sport. But recently I have been seriously considering getting less "out of shape". Your latest blog has motivated me to do it, even in your absence! See, you're definitely motivator material!
Mark
(aka Iggy)
Thank you SO much Mark and all of you who do read this so called passion of mine I do not always deserve friends like you. My very good friend Chris K leaves his comment section off on his blog, so you can not add a comment and I am thinking that is what I need to do to put my ego in check. Yes it is an ego thing to see those comments but I realized that should not be the reason why I write, it should be to be a positive person along with positive messages. I have even gone back to re-reading one of Og Mandino’s book titled “The Greatest Salesman In The World” if you have never read it please pick it up! This is an easy read plus a very simple message and the book has started to change my attitude for the better and I needed an attitude change these days. I will just say this because I so highly recommend this book; the first “Scroll” (told you that you need to get the book) is about “Love” and I know that in my heart I still have a lot (ok lot’s) of hate still in there and I truly need to replace it with more love towards people.
Spring cleaning and no I do not mean your house but our minds but if you want to swing by and do some here at my humble abode that would be nice. What I mean is of people who are not positive in your world or even you are not positive towards them. These are people if you talk to them or email them they have nothing nice to say and again visa versa. I did some cleaning of my own this week to help me realize that my destructive behavior at times just fuels that negative fire and creates extra energy that we don’t need to exhort. Think about whom you have wronged and there is just no going back or again the other way around.
I need to say what a great week this has been but I will be tested next week. I was very fortunate to have the family dog “Keewee” stay with me while Connor was on vacation. She is an Australian Shepherd and very affectionate. Having her this week was a blessing because not only did it get me out of the house several times a day (our weather was perfect this week) but it all boils down to unconditional love. I will miss her next week but here is a learning opportunity for me and I want to pass this along to you my friends. We can not sit here and be tied to a computer even at work, get up and get out. I know what I need to do next week and for me that is going to be getting out for walks or runs plus this is a perfect time to get our bikes tuned up.
Before I get to my shout outs here is a quote that I cam across while doing homework last night. Please copy it and print it out.
You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. Winnie-the-Pooh
SHOUT OUTS
Angie thank you for reminding me to that some days we need to laugh at ourselves.
Ben for your spiritual advice because I know that is something missing currently.
Denise I can not tell you in words what your friendship means to me other then THANK YOU!
Mark AKA Iggy, you are one of the funniest people I have ever met and let us know when we can start buying products on line from your daughter’s bakery.
Patti I know you are going through some rough times right now, but I know you have a strong heart and this is only temporary.
Donna AKA “Southern Belle” keep being a positive person with your family.
Keewee I know you are a dog and can not read but you have always been there for me in good times and bad. I love you and will miss having you around.
Leslee I am honored to of met you and thank you for your responses on Twitter.
Yusuf I hope that someday I will repay you for your kindness in our virtual world and please tell the family you need a day offJ
Jan H I need to say thank you for your positive messages and advice while I try to go through my physical transformation.
Tony Horton the inventor of P90X!!!!!!!!!!
Chris K a life long friend and fellow writer, we need to head over to Sluggers for a drink J
DJ Thank you for posting comments and all of the pool advice back in Shelton.
J$ You have never steered me wrong and here is to someday working together again.
Bob H My current teacher Thank you for your words of wisdom and your kind words of encouragement.
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