Two years later.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my anniversary of the day I was asked for a divorce. That day is something that plays in my head almost daily or at least the day’s I am asked to speak to an organization about my topic of divorce. I was asked if I have issues (I said yes but they were not finished with the question) because this memory is brought up so much now in my life? I said no because it has taken a journey that was very much up hill but not up hill in a good way. If you have ever done a 14er, you walk up for several hours, but the going down can be as tough as well. However starting and creating my speaking business would NEVER have been a reality if I was still married today. I am thankful that two people created such a healthy boy and Connor knows that he is loved.

Well my journey was at one time the lowest of my low when this whole divorce mess occurred. First off I am sad that the divorce caused me to loose some friends who I thought would have been life long friends. I know now that when divorce happens it does affect not only the family but the community as well and this is actually called “Community Divorce.” For me there were special times up until September 7 2008, we had a great group that lived in the “Sac” as we liked to call it because we lived in a cul de sac. The parties really brought the neighbors closer together but maybe the friendships that were created were also ended because of the lines that were drawn. I am saddened again those friendships were destroyed by our divorce and that there are still negative feelings that still linger because of the divorce. However good or bad I have memories from the days being part of the “Sac.”

I know that no matter how I write this blog posting it is not going to be what I truly want to say because my message might not get reached to the masses. I still think and feel and you will hopefully agree as well that there is a victim in all of this and we know who that is. 1 Million children on average are affected by divorce so Connor in my view like many kids that go through this have to grow up a little sooner. The day that my life changed from having mom, dad, and me all under one roof is always going to be in my memory bank.

There actually has been good because of this and I would like to share some with you. I knew of others who had gone through divorce but never asked them questions. I was asked one last week at one of the Toastmaster meeting I attend on Thursday’s. I was asked by a new friend named Chasen if I am happy? I did not even hesitate saying “yes” I was happy because guess what I sure as heck was not two years ago today. Well here are some reasons why I am happier today then I was in my past:
 Connor and I are less then five minutes from his house to my place.
 I have started my speaking business and possible two more other business as well.
 Meeting Angie and how much she adores Connor.
 I have learned the Law of Attraction.
 I am a much happier person.
 Learning every time I am with Connor on who he is and what his likes/dislikes are.
 I am grateful everyday to be here.

My healing was all about time and part of the process was to stop thinking at first I was the victim and what did I do wrong to go from husband to single to what felt like a blink of an eye. Learning from my friend Chris K that it is cheaper to write out your feelings then seeing a therapist was one of my first steps. Another was how can I serve others with my story and because I do believe in the Law of Attraction I get to tell my story on a bigger stage. On October 4 I will be speaking at the 2010 Fatherhood Training Academy in Colorado Springs and if you would like more information here is the website http://www.coloradodads.com/. The excitement of knowing that I will be able to tell my story to a group such as this one at times is a little over whelming. I look forward to meeting new people but what I hope is the ability to touch people’s lives from my talk on October 4.

Finally I need to just say thank you for reading my blogs and telling me how much you have enjoyed reading them. I must also say thank you for the support I have received while I was getting my life back together. Please let me know how this blog has helped you through your own struggles and what can we do to help you too. Please remember that I thought when I said my marriage vows that it was going to be forever and well life happens. All I do know is the most import point I want to make and that is just the fact that Connor is loved by both of his parents.