To stupid to have a tutor

A few weeks ago while my son Connor and I were skating at one of the local rinks I saw something that I wish my DNA had inside of me. It was a moment to the untrained eye that it was nothing but to me it was very important in a young person’s life. I was seeing a rare moment that only a small group has inside of them to accomplish this amazing feat in my opinion. Even as an adult, currently I only truly wish that I can get what I am about to tell you and be able to pass it onto Connor as well.

When Connor is skating I am always making sure that he is safe so he does not accidently cut someone off or to make sure someone does not skate into him. I was skating near him when he said he wanted to go and sit down for a little bit, well his little bit is less then 30 seconds and he wants to do it by himself (I do watch him but keep a distance so he does not see that I am spying on him). As he was stepping off the ice I see these maybe junior high or even maybe even freshman school age couple. The boy was short and the girl was taller then him, but it was not awkward for them. They were skating together holding hands, smiling, and truly enjoying each other’s company. That is when I was hit like a Zdeno Chara slap shot (look up his fastest shots at the NHL All Star game and you will then understand). This boy had something and I not only wanted it I want to be able to show others how to get it but how and what is it? This kid had (please be sitting down for this profound statement) “CONFIDENCE” like nobody I had seen at such a young age. I mean think about it, you are a short boy going through life and in school then you see a pretty girl and you do not even think about the height issues at all and you just ask her out and guess what? She said yes! I will guess the kid did not even blink when he asked her out the first time, and nor did he blink when she said yes because he had confidence.

When I was a freshman at Carmel High School, I was struggling with math so my teacher DR. Watson (yes really) had a tutor work with me in the morning before homeroom. I was not getting what ever we were discussing that morning and these words came out of his mouth that I can not forget (even with all of the hockey pucks that have hit me in the head it just won’t come out) “You are to stupid to have a tutor.” WOW that brings back some great memories. I was both to ashamed and scared to say anything to DR. Watson of what this kid had said to me. The sad thing was that DR. Watson was my favorite teacher and I had felt that I let him down and that was the hardest part. I did not mind even the day when I was up in front of the class struggling to do a math problem when DR. Watson broke a yard stick when he hit me with it on the shoulder. Hey it was a Catholic school so it was part of life, but it did not hurt and actually I do not think he meant to hit me that hard anyway, oh heck it might have had a crack in it already from the times he would hit his desk with it. I am sure it was going to break sooner or later. He was a teacher who did care about his students and he was somebody who understood that a small win was a great win. I got a “C” on one of his test and he later pulled me aside to say that I could do better and this was just a start.

I would like to say I was kind of successful in my ten years in radio. I enjoyed it and my confidence was easy to find in myself because I had a microphone in front of me but in a strange way did not have to look at people when I talked to them on the air. It is strange now because I am SO passionate about wanting to be a speaker that I thrive on crowds to do my talks to. I do miss at times those days of being on the air and getting instant feed back if I said something that was funny or not, and then people would call in or NOT.

I think about that boy skating on the ice with his girlfriend and I hope he understands that what he has at such a young age is such a gift. I have a list of local clubs that I need to call so I can arrange a speaking engagement but cold calling is not in my DNA unlike that confidence thing that the kid has. I do not have any issue speaking in front of groups because yes I have some confidence but to have it in every aspect of my life would be so wonderful to have. I would be able to seriously have better control in my life and could become the leader I have always wanted to be. I posted my last blog about the hike up MT. Yale and needing to take baby steps, well unbeknownst to that kid skating with his girlfriend he has put a new fire in me to work harder on the confidence struggles I have had for many years and baby steps to get there. The next time you and I think that we do not have the confidence to do or try something; we all need to think of my new hero and just go up to that person (this is a metaphor) and look them right in the face with your head held high and say your name and then tell them that the two of you need to go out and if they even say no act like it is their loss and move on. I hope that with each new phone call you make or presentation you do that your own confidence gets stronger by the day. I hope to see you at the ice rink and if you do not know how to skate, well fake it while you make it. Oh and if you need a speaker for your organization please do not hesitate and contact me at thomasmaloneyjr@yahoo.com